From Shelter to Stability: Corvid’s Story

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign. [00:00:23] Speaker B: Welcome back to Sheboygan. Stories on housing unheard. I'm your host, Scott Levante. If you've been following along, you know that a couple episodes ago we sat down with Kyla, the founder of Home Inc. Transitional housing. Today, we're taking that conversation one step further, hearing directly from someone who's living here now. Corvid has graciously agreed to share his stories, the ups, the challenges, and what it really means to have a safe place to call home, even if it's temporary. Corvid, first of all, thank you so much for being here and sharing your story. [00:00:53] Speaker A: Yeah, hey, thank you so much. [00:00:55] Speaker B: I really do appreciate it. And I know it was a little last minute. You know, like I said, it popped into my head this morning. I try to keep everything planned out each week as to what I'm doing because I put one out every two weeks and I'm usually on top of it. It's been absolutely chaotic at school and my brain is just squirrel brain. [00:01:13] Speaker A: Yeah, I can't even imagine, you know, And I'm going to deal with those little ankle biters and all that. Right. [00:01:19] Speaker B: You know, and about 10 o' clock this morning, I was going to. Oh, shit. You know, and I was like, garvin. So I heard up, I threw my questions together, I got everything all set. And I didn't put anything out on Facebook about the upcoming one yet until I, you know, I had confirmation from you that it was okay. And so. All right. [00:01:38] Speaker A: Yeah, no, it's, you know, I'm a huge fan of spontaneity, so I appreciate that and I'm very honored. Thank you so much. [00:01:45] Speaker B: All right, so we'll start at the beginning. What was life like before you came to Home, Inc. [00:01:54] Speaker A: Wow. Yeah, life was very difficult. Life was very chaotic because I've only been here in Cheboygan for just about 11 months, I think now. I moved back to Wisconsin from Salem, Massachusetts, where I was there for a while. I was homeless there and then, you know, came back to Wisconsin because I wasn't really. I needed to get out of Salem. It was a nightmare. [00:02:25] Speaker B: That's kind of a rough area. [00:02:28] Speaker A: It can be, you know, it's very touristy. And, you know, I, when I moved there, I had every intention of growing my business. I was a candle maker and did a lot of things involving nature, you know, with my spiritual path. So, you know, kind of resonated with that. And so I went there. I had everything with me. And on the first day, because I had a guy steal my id and it probably wasn't good, considering I'm an addict. You know, I was at the bar, but because you have to have your ID out, you know, whatever. He ended up stealing that. And I didn't know that in Salem you cannot get anything done unless you have an id. [00:03:20] Speaker B: Welcome to the city. We're going to steal your id. [00:03:22] Speaker A: Yeah. No, and this was in. This was in Missouri. Oh, this was on my way. So I ended up. Yeah, I ended up. My very first day. As soon as I got off the plane, I tried to check into my hotel, and I was working with the housing authority there because I, you know, for 10 years. Over 10 years, you know, I've had my own place in Milwaukee. I only rented like, three times, and I moved like three times in those 10 years. But I needed something new. Right. You know, Milwaukee got really kind of overwhelming. [00:03:51] Speaker B: Yeah, I get that. [00:03:52] Speaker A: Yeah. And. But unbeknownst to me, because of that one little snafu, my life completely turned up upside down. The day I got off the plane, I couldn't check in my hotel because I didn't have an id. So. [00:04:07] Speaker B: Holy shit. [00:04:07] Speaker A: The very first day that I was in Salem, I was homeless. Wow. And I had no idea what to do. [00:04:15] Speaker B: I was gonna say, how do you navigate first time in a new city, no idea where to go. No idea what's safe, what isn't, or where's safe and where isn't. [00:04:25] Speaker A: Not knowing anything. [00:04:26] Speaker B: I mean, I can't even imagine. [00:04:28] Speaker A: Yeah. It was a giant, Giant slap in the face and giant wake up call that literally the rug can be pulled out from underneath feet. [00:04:39] Speaker B: Wow. [00:04:40] Speaker A: Like I said, you know, I had a business. I was a candle maker. And so, you know, that's, you know, heed my warning. You know, sometimes what I tell people is, you can be stable as. I'll get out. And then one day, one thing happens. [00:04:57] Speaker B: One. One thing, you know, and that's one of the things. And anybody that follows along, I'm sure you've heard this dozens of times already. We're all one crisis away from being in the same predicament. [00:05:07] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:05:08] Speaker B: And that shows it. That really solidifies that effect, you know, that something is, I don't want to say as simple as. [00:05:16] Speaker A: Well, it's something that's pretty fucking dumb. [00:05:19] Speaker B: Right. It throws your whole life into one thing. [00:05:24] Speaker A: Yeah. Some douche canoe in Missouri steals my ID and, you know, my life is just. Yeah. And I didn't know what to do. I mean, I went to the police station and they were like, oh, you can stay here. I Had all these bags and everything with me. [00:05:40] Speaker B: And I'm supposed to do what with this stuff, you know? [00:05:42] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, and I had stuff coming in from the airport. You know, I had like an antique Indian divider that I used when I would, you know, I mean, this thing was like hand carved. I mean, I had. I had stuff, right. You know. [00:06:00] Speaker B: Okay, now what I do with this stuff. [00:06:01] Speaker A: Yeah. And yeah, it's somewhere in Texas. That's all I do. [00:06:05] Speaker B: Wow. [00:06:06] Speaker A: In some airline warehouse collecting dust. Who the hell is this? I know, they're like, what the hell? I mean, it was really gorgeous. Like, what the. No one came back for this shit, you know, but. Yeah, and so that just started, you know, being as I have been on the street intermittently previously, to me, being stable. I was almost three years. I lived down by the river in Milwaukee. So, I mean, it wasn't anything new to me. [00:06:39] Speaker B: Right. [00:06:39] Speaker A: You know, and I had a very chaotic upbringing, to say the least. And, you know, so, I mean, you know, my whole life has been kind of a chaos sandwich, you know, mashed into, you know, a sandwich. [00:06:56] Speaker B: Right. [00:06:57] Speaker A: Thrown into a dumpster fire. So, you know, whatever you want to use. Yeah, Whatever euphemisms you want to use that aren't favorable, we'll say, you know, kind of was what I was born into. And so, you know, but yeah, so that was unexpected. And I was there. Things really went sideways for me. It's when I really fell off the wagon, unfortunately. [00:07:23] Speaker B: How could you not? Yeah, that I can't even imagine. It's blowing my mind. [00:07:28] Speaker A: Yeah. And, you know, me being an off and on professional hobo, you know, all I had to do was like, put out my tent city radar and of course found them right away. And they tried to help, but, you know, I ended up slipping back into active drug addiction and active alcoholism, which is really. It destroyed my life. It really did. I mean, in Salem, I lost, you know, 13 years of my Facebook page was hacked. You know, my bank account was hacked, my Instagram was hacked. I mean, I lost every picture my whole life did. So basically, you know, my socials that I have right now are just what I've built up here in Sheboygan. So as far as the digital world is concerned, just a 52 year old man just popped out of nowhere. Hello, Hello. Here's a heavily tattooed Freakoid. You know, so. But yeah, you know, I came back to Milwaukee. I was there for a couple of weeks and I was like, I can't do this. And you know, again, me being, you know, Actively in addiction. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna go somewhere else. And I just literally went, you know, on the map. And I was like, sheboygan. Oh, God, where the hell is Sheborgan? Yeah, exactly, exactly. And so I bought a bus ticket. [00:09:00] Speaker B: And here you are. [00:09:01] Speaker A: Ended up here. And the. The very next day after I got here, again, didn't know anything, know anybody. Being in active addiction, I started going through withdrawals. [00:09:12] Speaker B: Oh, I suppose. [00:09:14] Speaker A: And I ended up in the hospital the second day I was here and I was in there for a while. [00:09:21] Speaker B: You weren't there a while? [00:09:22] Speaker A: Yeah, it was about three weeks. Little. I think a little over three weeks. Yeah, I was. I was in a really tough, you know, my mental health was not doing good. And, you know, there was just a whole lot of bullshit that was going on, you know, inside and outside. [00:09:43] Speaker B: Right. [00:09:44] Speaker A: And so, you know, I again, you know, just, you know, dove into my new homeless community and it's. It's quite different here in, in Cheboygan than most places that I've experienced, you know, and that's. I'm very, very fortunate to, you know, have met Kyla. Kyla basically saved my life. I'm not even going to say basically. Basically. And technically, she saved my life. And so it was just happenstance. You know, the streets out here in Sheboygan are very unique. You know, as an outsider, you know, coming in, you know, I was expecting, you know, chaos and. But all the places that I've been to the support for the homeless and the marginalized, you know, I was like, this is actually pretty okay, right? In comparison to most cities because there's. There's people here like yourself. [00:10:51] Speaker B: I was gonna say, I remember the night that you. Or the day that you walked in and Christmas Day. I remember that. And I don't want to sound, but you looked a little lost, a little floundering a bit as to, you know, and you had explained at that point, you know, that you were relatively new to here and you had just got out of the hospital and stuff like that. And. [00:11:15] Speaker A: And even Kathleen said she was like, you look like you were gonna fucking kill somebody. I was like, really? I was like, I was. Whatever. [00:11:26] Speaker B: And I remember, first thing I thought when I saw you was, dude, I love your tattoos. [00:11:30] Speaker A: I know. [00:11:30] Speaker B: And I think that was one of the first things I said to you, like, dude, I gotta tell you, I. I just love them. [00:11:36] Speaker A: It's a conversation starter, most definitely. Right. [00:11:39] Speaker B: And then it. The rest is history. We just kind of clicked from there. [00:11:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. I Was very, very grateful for you and Kathleen because, you know, without pay it forward, you know, I would have froze to death. You know, having to spend the whole day outside and. [00:11:56] Speaker B: Right. [00:11:56] Speaker A: You know, it's scary for me now, thinking about other people, you know, and it's just like, wow. [00:12:03] Speaker B: I was thinking about that just the other day, actually, before the warming center just opened up. What, Tuesday? [00:12:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:10] Speaker B: It's getting cold and it's gonna get colder, you know, and. And it used to be they could leave there and they could come to us. Yeah, exactly. You know, they. [00:12:19] Speaker A: You know, that's what I did. Right. [00:12:21] Speaker B: You know, and now where do you go? [00:12:25] Speaker A: I know. [00:12:25] Speaker B: It breaks my heart. [00:12:26] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, open door can only handle. [00:12:28] Speaker B: And they don't open till, what, 9, 9, 30, ish. Whatever it is. The library. [00:12:32] Speaker A: Okay. [00:12:34] Speaker B: But that's not it. [00:12:36] Speaker A: You know, there's nothing. No, there's really nothing. And, you know, just that whole thing, you know, being. Being there, you know, from Christmas until it was. I mean, it was emotional for a lot of people. I know it was emotional for you and Kathleen, but it was just, you know, one. One thing after another, unfortunately, is very, you know, systematic, you know, trying to make it hard on people who have fallen on hard times. You know, dual diagnoses. You know, these people aren't terrible people. You know, people look at me, you know, with my face tattoos. I'm completely covered. They would never guess in a million years that, you know, I'm a father. [00:13:30] Speaker B: Right. [00:13:30] Speaker A: I'm a veteran, a deployed veteran. I went to Bosnia for almost a year and had to deal with all that genocide. I am a college graduate. You know, I have my degree in graphic design and commercial art with my minor in English. I mean, I've seen the Mona Lisa with my own two eyes. You know, I'm a world traveler. I've been all over the place. You know, I lived in Germany for a year. You know, I've lived everywhere from, you know, really almost opulent mansions, you know, giant houses on golf courses, all the way to being a tent on the Milwaukee River. [00:14:08] Speaker B: And that's. That's something that unfortunately, people don't take the time to learn or to find out. They're quick to judge, quick to walk past and pretend that you don't exist. [00:14:19] Speaker A: Don't ever, ever judge a book by its cover. [00:14:21] Speaker B: That's it. And that's one of the things. And again, you know, the people that follow along and have listened to different episodes and that. That's one of the things that I push is, you know, don't judge. Be kind. Say hello. [00:14:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:35] Speaker B: You never know. And I. Some of the most amazing people I've ever met have been within the four. [00:14:43] Speaker A: Walls of Pay it forward. Yeah. [00:14:45] Speaker B: You know, and I will tell the world that because. Because strength, resilience, man, that's stump. That's a lot of people don't have that. [00:14:56] Speaker A: No, they don't. They wouldn't. [00:14:57] Speaker B: By the day. [00:14:58] Speaker A: No, they wouldn't. [00:14:59] Speaker B: Some of the shit that you went through. [00:15:01] Speaker A: Exactly. You know, and that's what boggles me. Right. Boggles me about the mayor, but yet it boggles me about, you know, what he does. And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off. [00:15:12] Speaker B: No, not this quarter. [00:15:13] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, why would you want to disenfranchise the disenfranchised even more? Why would you want to make life a living hell? [00:15:25] Speaker B: Right. [00:15:26] Speaker A: Even more than, you know, it's like. It's like being in the basement of hell. I guess. It's the best way I can, you know, describe it and, you know, the little bit of resources in this. I have a hard time calling it a city because, I mean, if you can walk around the city in one day, that's not a city. That's like a commonwealth. [00:15:46] Speaker B: It's big compared to where I came from. [00:15:48] Speaker A: Oh, God. Really? I know. Yeah. You Wisconsin people. [00:15:52] Speaker B: I'm a Michigan person. [00:15:53] Speaker A: Oh, geez. Okay. Yes. Never been to Michigan. [00:15:56] Speaker B: Five and a half hours north of here, actually. Up in the middle of nowhere. [00:15:59] Speaker A: Oh, that sounds great. [00:16:01] Speaker B: It is. It's beautiful. You know, like, with the whole, like, disenfranchising, you know, really making it tough on the people. Thinking about, like, city as, like a wolf pack, per se. [00:16:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:15] Speaker B: Only as strong as your weakest link, bro. [00:16:18] Speaker A: I've been saying that for so long. [00:16:20] Speaker B: Take care of your weakest link. [00:16:22] Speaker A: Exactly. And it's just. That is the one thing that absolutely just flips my lid. Like, I mean, it's just logically, you know what I mean? Just use your critical thinking skills. Being able to look at things on a bigger picture other than just your political career, other than just how things look right now, you know, if you want this city to flourish, if you want this. This city, this town to flourish. Right. You know what I mean? This spec on the map, you know, it's not that hard. [00:16:59] Speaker B: It isn't. [00:17:00] Speaker A: You know, I mean, yeah, there's a considerable amount of people that are homeless. I mean, I'll be honest with you. If you two people that are homeless in this city, that's still too many. Yeah. [00:17:09] Speaker B: 100% agree. [00:17:09] Speaker A: Absolutely. But in such a place like this, it boggles my mind. [00:17:17] Speaker B: It does. [00:17:18] Speaker A: How either you're, like I said, as an outsider, you know, how either you're on the side of people and you care about people or you just are concerned about those booze cruises. [00:17:31] Speaker B: Right. [00:17:32] Speaker A: You know, and how the city appears. Well, Mr. Mayor, if I may, which I know you probably don't listen because from what I've heard, you don't give a shit. You know, you want to clean up the city, then allow people like Kyla and Home Inc. To flourish and pay it forward. [00:17:54] Speaker B: Had Dan Paid building, we'd still be doing. I know we'd, we'd still be going strong. [00:17:59] Speaker A: I know. And I'm, I'm very, very lucky. I mean, just the cards, you know, I've done my time, you know, it's, it's, you know, it's about time, you know, I got a break. [00:18:11] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. [00:18:12] Speaker A: You know, but I still, you know, I work hard for this place. You know, I, A lot of times, you know, I'm kind of the right hand man of Kyla because I appreciate her that much and because I, you know, this place is absolutely a godsend. [00:18:34] Speaker B: Oh, it is. I agree. [00:18:35] Speaker A: You know, but unfortunately we can't house everybody. [00:18:40] Speaker B: Right. [00:18:41] Speaker A: You know, we want to be able to open up more floors, you know, but you know, we need community support, you know, and it's going to be, you know, it's usually the same faces that I see, the ones who were doing it before, the ones that are doing it now, you know, in the best way that they can. [00:18:58] Speaker B: Right. [00:19:00] Speaker A: But with Home Inc. It has been a lifesaver. [00:19:07] Speaker B: And that was one of the things why I wanted to interview Kyla a couple weeks ago. I really wanted to get her. [00:19:12] Speaker A: Yeah, that was a great interview. [00:19:13] Speaker B: Voice out. I wanted to get. I want people to know and understand that this really is an amazing program. This deserves a whole lot of community support and it needs a whole lot of community support. We had amazing support at Pay it Forward. [00:19:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:30] Speaker B: You know, and you guys worked hard, though. We did. We worked hard for what we had. [00:19:35] Speaker A: I mean, I wasn't one of those guys who just like laid around all day and watched tv. [00:19:39] Speaker B: Right. [00:19:39] Speaker A: I mean, I wanted to be a part and that's why I got so close to you. [00:19:43] Speaker B: And that's what helped us flourish was, you know, we had people like you that were willing to step up and say, hey, I know this needs to be done. You didn't ask what needed to be Done. You're just, alright, let's just get up and do it. And I'm hoping that this amazing community that stepped up and helped us will step up and help her. [00:20:02] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:20:04] Speaker B: She's not really, I don't want to say picking up where we left off because she's taking it further than we did. [00:20:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:13] Speaker B: You know, she's on an entirely different level. And something we had talked about way back in the beginning when this whole, you know, the whole pay it forward thing came to fruition. It was okay, you know, lofty dreams. At that point. [00:20:26] Speaker A: We were, you know, we were talking. [00:20:27] Speaker B: About having a day center, we were talking about having transitional housing and what that would look like. And I still have all my plans and stuff like that written up. But once we got in and we started digging our hands into it and we realized, holy shit, there's a lot to it. [00:20:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:41] Speaker B: And so we opted like, ridiculously. Right. We opted not to spread ourselves. [00:20:46] Speaker A: It's almost comical. [00:20:47] Speaker B: Uh huh. [00:20:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:48] Speaker B: We knew that that would spread us too thin and we wouldn't be able to help where we were needed the most. So we opted, okay, we're just gonna, that's off the table. Let's move forward with what we can do and go from there. And she's taking it that step further and helping in so many amazing ways. [00:21:08] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, that's how I met her. You know, being out on the streets and you know, actively using, actively drinking, you know, and she'd still come up and, you know, she would go around and just, you know, give us water or just, you know, talk, sit down and talk with you. And, and that's how it all started, you know. And then all of a sudden, boom. I heard she had this place and I was like, damn, okay. Right. That just came out of nowhere. But, you know, I, I, you know, you know, when you've, when you've been out there and you've seen the true nature of people and you get to understand things in a broader way, you have to. [00:21:54] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:21:55] Speaker A: You have to know who you can trust. You have to know who's a confidant. You have to, it'd be very discerning just simply because, you know, all of us have, you know, our own traumas. We all have our own, you know, issues that we've had to deal with. [00:22:11] Speaker B: And we've all done, we're not proud of. [00:22:13] Speaker A: Exactly. Everybody has. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, I mean, no one's immune to that, you know, I don't care who you are. Right. You know, and so, but one day it was just. I'm sitting, not even sitting, I'm laying down in this loading dock and I just put a piece of wood and like my sleeping bag and. Because somebody stole my freaking tent. And I was just, you know, the night before was just, it was bad. And you know, I, I woke up and I was, I woke up to Kyla standing over me and just being like, like, oh my God, you know, corbet, Corvid, corbet. And I was like, what? What? You know, and she was like, you do not look good. And I was like, I probably don't. Yeah. [00:23:06] Speaker B: Gotta see from this side. Yeah. [00:23:09] Speaker A: You know, the second I woke up, I started going through withdrawals for alcohol. But you know, my buddy, luckily he was already on it before I even, you know, he came back with, you know, a pint of, you know, booze. And so I was able to drink that. She's like, don't drink that. And I was like, I have to or else I'm in the. [00:23:26] Speaker B: Like, this is not gonna end well. [00:23:28] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm gonna, you know, I have a history of seizures and things like that and you know, so. And I was already feeling that way so I had to, in order to just. Right, you know, it's not good. And yeah, she just miraculously, it took me a while to get up and be able to stand and you know, she took me to her truck and you know, took me straight. I don't know, I mean the whole day is. I mean that whole part was kind of. It's still a blur. [00:24:04] Speaker B: I was gonna say a little foggy. [00:24:06] Speaker A: Yeah, it's still a little blur. I actually don't remember if it was an ambulance that she had to call or if she took me. So I apologize, Kyla, I'm so sorry. But I'm sure you remember the way you looked at me. You were like, oh my God, you're going to die. And I was like, nah. You know, and that's the thing is that, you know, when you're out there and you know, I have CPTSD and you know, some from my childhood, but mostly from my military service and other diagnoses I have as well. But you know, you know, there's. And I've always been ravenous reader so about, you know, a lot of. I like to go down the rabbit hole. I like to, you know what I mean? I really like to know what's underneath, underneath, you know, and it's really opened my mind to a lot. I'm very Very glad of my wisdom and my knowledge of bigger things that most people don't. Even. [00:25:13] Speaker B: Kathleen asked me that sometimes, every once in a while, I'll talk about something because I do the same thing. I go down rabbit holes and. And then the more I read, the more I want to know. So the more rabbit holes that I chase and I'll talk about something and she'll look at me, she goes, not only how do you know that, but why do you know that? I'm like, I just do. I don't know. It's just there. [00:25:33] Speaker A: Why did you do that to yourself? [00:25:35] Speaker B: Right. [00:25:36] Speaker A: I know. I get that. But that's what I'm saying. And then I get thrown in, like some weird existential, like, breakdown, you know. But, you know, at that point, you know, I was diagnosed with cirrhosis a few years ago, I think, about four years ago, you know, I was sober for about three years, you know, in Milwaukee. And just a series of unfortunate events happened and ended up slowly, you know, sliding back, you know, from that. You know, I was at the Dewey center, actually, is where I went and did IOP and. And php, which is for those of you who don't know. It's partial hospitalization programming where you go in every day. It's a longer period of time. And then you graduate to iop, which is an intensive outpatient, and that's a little less rigorous. But I was very, very lucky because I had just stopped caring again and was going to lose my apartment. It was a mutual termination of lease. Of lease. Yeah. And I had nowhere to go. So they had housing at Dewey Center. It's the alumni house. I applied for that and I got in there and I was there for four months. And that's where I, you know, my candles were doing great. You know what I mean? I was making decent money, but selling from everywhere. Germany, Switzerland, all over the U.S. i mean. Yeah. I mean, like, my very first order was from Germany. [00:27:14] Speaker B: Wow. [00:27:15] Speaker A: It wasn't even like some place. It wasn't even like, you know, it. [00:27:18] Speaker B: Wasn'T like a buddy. [00:27:19] Speaker A: Yeah. It wasn't even like, you know, any one of my buddies. Hey. No, no. It was the one who was like, I would like to buy some of your candles. [00:27:29] Speaker B: That's pretty impressive. [00:27:30] Speaker A: Yeah. So. But, yeah, and then. So it's just been. It's just been the last, you know, two years to almost three years. Just been on, you know, up and down, up and down. And, you know, that's another thing that I'm very, very grateful for with Home Inc. Is that, you know, you know, Kyla has had her own dilemmas. [00:27:57] Speaker B: Right. [00:27:58] Speaker A: You know, in the past she has many, many years, like 22 or 24 years or something like that. And you know, so I draw a lot of inspiration from that. But you know, here at Home Inc. I mean, we've got so many different plans and programs and things like that she has really implemented. She's gone out of her way. She has literally dropped everything. She goes home and she became a smart facilitator. If people who don't know smart. I forget the acronym. [00:28:32] Speaker B: It's. [00:28:35] Speaker A: But it's another. It's not like N A or A A. It's more like logic based. Right. You know what I mean? [00:28:42] Speaker B: I used to know what it was, but it's. [00:28:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. I'm so. I, I don't know. I haven't had enough coffee today. I think that's the issue. I'm gonna believe it on coffee. Lack of coffee. So. Which is why I'm drinking it now, even though it's 8 o' clock at night. Whatever. So I, you know, she's implemented things like she, she got her, you know, got to be a facilitator for smarts. We do smart once a week. You know, we do have mandatory meetings that we do here. We also have, you know, Art in Recovery here, which is done by, by Crystal. [00:29:19] Speaker B: That was last week's. [00:29:20] Speaker A: Yeah, Crystal Marshall. Oh, yeah. Okay. I didn't see that one yet. Okay. All right. [00:29:24] Speaker B: Her. [00:29:24] Speaker A: Last week. Yeah, she does. Today we were in here. She does. So that's, you know, I mean, she's amazing too. Yeah. And then like every morning, I really like the morning meetings that we have. It's called New Day. We meet at 9 o' clock in the conference room. And you know, there's a. She has a sheet that has everything, you know, if you need to like plan your day hour by hour. You know, we think like, what are our top priorities for today? We write those down and we share them. And then the positive affirmation that we can carry throughout the day. You know what I mean? [00:30:00] Speaker B: Beautiful. [00:30:00] Speaker A: Yeah. So it's a really nice way to start today. Oh, it is. You know. [00:30:05] Speaker B: You know, and that's one of the things too. Something like that helps because, you know, if you're looking. And I talk about this a lot too. Okay, I gotta do this, this, this, this and this. That's overwhelming as all hell. You know, you get something like that even, you know, you said she's got like stuff you can write down this And. But even bouncing it off of somebody else and saying, you know, okay, this is. I got all of this stuff, and in your mind you're going, oh, shit. Not possible. It helps just to bounce it off of somebody else, or even better, write it down and you can break it down to what's right in front of me right now. What do I need to do right now? The rest of it goes away for now. I need to do this before I worry about anything. [00:30:46] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's just, you know, not everybody here used to be an addict or an alcoholic as well, so, you know what I mean? It's. As long as you're, you know, you're homeless, you know, you've been chronically homeless or, you know, experienced any amount of time or the fear of going, you know, homeless. So. But for someone like me and. And a lot of the people here, you know, the programs that she's implemented here are absolutely. They're just. They're wonderful. You know, we've got smart recovery, you know, the. We're doing also different classes that she's going to be facilitating. We started anger management. Nice. Which has been pretty in depth and, you know, since we started. You know, it's something that, you know, we're going to keep going, and it's like a curriculum. So, you know, it's not just. It's not a flop house. [00:31:41] Speaker B: I was just gonna say. She didn't say, here's. Here's a room for you. Stay there. Do what you need to do. [00:31:45] Speaker A: Yeah. And just lay there all day and cry, right? [00:31:48] Speaker B: No, it doesn't work that way. [00:31:50] Speaker A: No. I mean, she has, like, the biggest heart. [00:31:54] Speaker B: She does. [00:31:54] Speaker A: She really does. I mean, it's immense. For such a little. For such a little. [00:32:00] Speaker B: Right. [00:32:00] Speaker A: There's such a little woman. She's got a. [00:32:02] Speaker B: Like, she's all yay big. [00:32:03] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. She's like. She's just like a walking heart. Walking bleeding heart. You know what I mean? And it really takes that, you know, I. I commend, you know, her patience. Absolutely. And her dedication, her empathy, and. God, there's just not enough things I can say. [00:32:26] Speaker B: I agree. [00:32:26] Speaker A: You know, like I said, she. Yeah. She literally saved my life. And, you know, and then now, you know, when you get to move in here, we realize, you know, it takes a little bit of adjusting and, you know, we give people a couple days when they move in, and then you gotta acclimate. You gotta, you know. [00:32:41] Speaker B: Yep. [00:32:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Because we realize. And, you know, sometimes it's. It's hard for people to get out of that homeless mentality. That's a huge step. Yeah, it really, really is. [00:32:52] Speaker B: It took me a little while to see how big of a step that was. How much of a transition it really was. Call me naive, call me protected, call me privileged if you. I don't know what term to use. I really don't. [00:33:11] Speaker A: Well, I mean, it's not like you've just all the, you know, your fortune just fell in your lap. I mean, you know what I mean? You've worked. You and Kathleen both have worked very hard. And I've been throughout my truck. Yeah. Yeah. [00:33:22] Speaker B: I was homeless. I really had my truck for a while. I didn't know that before Kathleen and I got together. I got thrown out of my house by my ex wife. And yeah, that happened. I know where to go. You know, I had the choice. Either I could afford a place to live or I could afford to eat. And I like to eat. [00:33:36] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:33:38] Speaker B: And I still had a truck, thankfully, so it was full size Ford pickup, so the seat was pretty decent. That. That was my bed for an entire summer. [00:33:45] Speaker A: Yeah. Dude, if I had a car when I was out there, man, I'm fine. [00:33:50] Speaker B: That was it, you know, I was. I was good to go. And then thankfully, you know, Kathleen let this strange guy into her house. [00:33:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I know, right? The rest is history. Right? [00:34:01] Speaker B: And that was, you know, 20 years later, we're still at it. [00:34:03] Speaker A: Yep. Yep. Oh, God, she's. She's a riot. I love Kathleen too. [00:34:08] Speaker B: Right? She puts up with a lot of my shit. It works. [00:34:12] Speaker A: I'm sure it's mutual. Dude, come on. Come on. I know, I know. I see it in her eyes. [00:34:19] Speaker B: There might be a little fire behind those eyes. Just. [00:34:22] Speaker A: Just a skosh. Just a skosh. But yeah, so I mean, it's just, you know, not only do we have like programming, you know, mandatory meetings, but then we're also. It's required as well for folks to go to. For us to go to Lighthouse and attend meetings there as well. As it stands, we're, you know, at least for a week. And that's also been a real. A real gift to us as well because, you know, it's so close. It's like a 10 minute walk. [00:34:58] Speaker B: Absolutely. And that just that. That again, reiterates, it takes a village. [00:35:02] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:35:04] Speaker B: Nobody can do this alone. [00:35:05] Speaker A: Exactly. And you know, and that's one of the hardest things, not only for myself, but for a lot of other people, is to ask for help. Oh, it's tough is because we're independent. We don't want to be. We don't want pity. We don't want pity. [00:35:22] Speaker B: No, do not throw your pity. [00:35:23] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. And. But that's, you know, that's one of the things that Kyla always says, and it's exactly, it's 100% true, is that, you know, she provides a hand up, not a handout. Right. And that's what one thing I want people to know, I want the city to know, I want the board of directors to know that she puts blood, sweat and tears in thousands of her own dollars to make this place run. [00:35:54] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. [00:35:56] Speaker A: And, you know, I really hope that all those entities, especially the city, understands that if, if this place, if they, you know, were forced to do what happened with Pay it Forward, I would be devastated. I don't know what I. I seriously, I don't know what I would do. Right. You know, and it's scary. [00:36:24] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. [00:36:25] Speaker A: You know, it's really scary because, you know, you get into, you know, this opportunity and, you know, the goal is, because it is just, you know, transitional, you know, you have resources, you know, at your expense, at your expenses, at your disposal. There you go. Anyway, English minor, my butt. And. But, you know, Kyla is a. She's a walking encyclopedia of, you know, resources and, you know, therapists, you know, but, you know, the end goal is, you know, to save up money for those who have a job or who are on ssi, ssdi, like myself, to be able to save up, you know, the rent here is very, very affordable. You know, and so it gives you that chance to save up your money. Hopefully. Working with Lakeshore Cap, I know they're probably just inundated because I've been. [00:37:33] Speaker B: Yeah, the waiting list is rather long. [00:37:35] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. So, you know, but I mean, anything else, you know, I look at it as, you know, out there. There is no future. There is no future. The only thing you're going to end up being, as they say in aa, is jails, institutions and death. Right. [00:37:58] Speaker B: You end up as a statistic. [00:38:00] Speaker A: Yep. And I said this years ago when I found out I had cirrhosis because of my drinking, I was like, you know, I don't want to be a statistic anymore. But, you know, my mental health deteriorated so bad that, you know, I was doing so much drugs and drinking so much, I was hoping my liver. I was hoping something would give out. Right. Yeah. Just because. [00:38:29] Speaker B: Because at that point, what other options are there? Or at least in your mind, you know, you're thinking that this is it. This is all there is. [00:38:38] Speaker A: I mean, that happened, you know, when I was in Milwaukee, I had a wife and they did something similar. The other city came down and like sheriff's department and destroyed all of our city, all of our houses. And they had a program called Project, or was it Project or something? Anyway, I forget what it was called. Coffee. And they. Because, I mean, we weren't in the, the eyes of the law, married. You know, they put her on one side of Milwaukee and me on the other and, you know, we were so feral. We lived out there for like three years. Right. You know, they gave us like a government phone and we didn't know what the hell to do. We didn't know how to contact each other or anything like that. And, you know, just because we were separated and she was in the south side of Milwaukee, which is pretty rough, and I was lucky. I got upset on the east side of Milwaukee, which is a lot more tolerable for someone. And she just lost all hope and got a part time job, saved up for money. One night she went and got her favorite bottle of wine, drank her favorite bottle of wine and then shot herself in the face. [00:40:01] Speaker B: Ouch. [00:40:02] Speaker A: And I didn't find out for days after that. So, you know, I'd really like for anybody that listens to this podcast to understand that this isn't just, you know, a two dimensional thing that's going on here. It's not like I've said on Facebook, you know what I mean? I'm not a nuisance, I'm not an eyesore. Well, I mean, maybe a nicer. I know those face tattoos and you know, but they, you know, like I said, no one in a million years would think that I've done just those things, you know, not to mention, you know, all of the nonprofit work I did for 10 years after I got out of the, out of the army. And there's, there's just so much out there right now nationally, but locally too, is I would really, really, really like to encourage people to you know, maybe possibly hear my voice, the voice of other people that you have that you will interview and realize that, you know, I'm a human being. You know, I used to live just like you. I was quote, unquote, normal. [00:41:22] Speaker B: You know, normal is just a setting on a dryer. [00:41:27] Speaker A: I think normal and perfect need to be eradicated from the human vernacular. We agree, you know, but. Yeah, and, and whatever that you think it is. Yeah. You know, just because we don't fit the norm. But the thing about it is though, is that we have not Been allowed, right? We have not been allowed. We have not been afforded opportunities to improve, to get out of addiction, to get out of unmedicated, you know, health issues. You know, luckily here at Home Inc. We don't have food insecurity. We have, like, an open pantry that you can, you know, a wonderful community, man. So many people actually used to donate to pay it forward. You know, they. They're. [00:42:26] Speaker B: You know, I'm hoping they continue. [00:42:28] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They're. They're. They're really excited and, you know, so we always have food here. And actually, some. Sometimes they really surprises, you know, especially with. I'm a huge fresh fruits and vegetable kind of guy, so, you know, I'm not a big meat eater, but my doctor's like, I need to eat steak. And I'm like, you know, I'm like, I like fish. It's a whole. Fish is even better. But every time I go to get fish, it's like, I'm paying $25 for that. What the hell, right? Give me a back rub before I cook it, you know, like, oh, that's some talented tilapia. And so, yeah, but, you know, here. Here at Homeink, I mean, you have your own room. You have your own refrigerator in your room, right? You know, so that way everyone, you know, you don't have to worry about a giant communal refrigerator where you have to put your name on everything. [00:43:25] Speaker B: You know, we remember those days. [00:43:27] Speaker A: Oh, God, tell me about it. Right? Those are the days. Who ate my. I know. Yeah. Yeah. God damn it. Yeah. So, you know, and it's just fantastic. It really is. Everyone here has been lucky enough to either Henry, the owner of the building, you know, he's usually able to supply, like, TVs and things like that. And because he's just got, you know, so much stuff. He's been. He's been here for, you know, been there forever. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. He's. He was. He was born here. [00:44:11] Speaker B: I was gonna say he's on a historical registry, too. [00:44:13] Speaker A: Yeah, it's pretty much. Love you, Henry, but yeah. You old fart. Anyway, just poking funny as I like to, but. Yeah. So, you know, we. We really do our best. And that's also another thing that I'd like to point out to the city and all those who should be listening, you know, we have a community here. You know, we have a whole community up here where regardless of whether you're an addict or not, you can still. Whomever you're comfortable with, you can knock on their door and come in and sit down. [00:44:56] Speaker B: Right. [00:44:57] Speaker A: You know, I did that the other day. [00:44:59] Speaker B: I came and knocked at your, on your door. Just, just say hi. [00:45:01] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? And that's, that's what we do here, is to elevate people. [00:45:07] Speaker B: Right. [00:45:08] Speaker A: You know, because, you know, now I'm not afraid to say it, but it's just, you know, I need help. [00:45:12] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:45:13] Speaker A: You know, we all do. Exactly. And so that's something that, that's a, you know, a term I don't dismiss or turn away from. [00:45:23] Speaker B: Right. [00:45:23] Speaker A: You know, because I, I, it's impossible this day and age, you know, so. But, you know, like I was saying before, you know, we're not unsightly, we're not a nuisance. Right. You know what I mean? It's not like, you know, we're a flock of seagulls that just swoop down and steal people's sandwiches, you know? You know, that seems. That's a nuisance. [00:45:48] Speaker B: Yes. [00:45:48] Speaker A: Trust me, being from Massachusetts, anyway, we're going, coming back to Massachusetts, I should say. Damn seagulls. But, you know, I mean, each person that's out there is a soul. There's a story. They have a mom, they have a dad, they might have kids. [00:46:09] Speaker B: Brothers, sisters, kids. [00:46:11] Speaker A: Exactly. You know, they matter just as much as the people who want to look down on us, the people who want to, just to be frank, who are just being judgmental dicks. [00:46:33] Speaker B: And I ran across a few of them. I was. Kathleen and I were at a meeting one time, and we ran across most of them were there that were pretty decent, but there was a couple that were the most judgmental, entitled people I've ever met in my entire life. And I was so disgusted when I left there. I'm usually pretty patient, pretty tolerant, you know, I'm kind of laid back. Anybody that knows me, I'm pretty passive. [00:47:00] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah. No, you're super chill, you know, And. [00:47:03] Speaker B: I left there just livid. I was wild. I, you know, I, I want wife. He was like, we need to go. [00:47:11] Speaker A: I'm like, yeah, we need to go, Kathleen. Like, where's, where's the muzzle? [00:47:13] Speaker B: Right? I'm like, yeah, I don't want him. [00:47:17] Speaker A: Biting anybody, you know, but, but that's also part. [00:47:22] Speaker B: That's possible. I'm not going to write that one off. [00:47:24] Speaker A: Hey, man, I've been there, dude, trust me, more, more times, I like to admit. [00:47:28] Speaker B: And that's that. But that's part of why I wanted do this podcast. That's. That's why I got into this. I want to help educate and I want to bring awareness and I want to hopefully release some of the stigma that's attached to being homeless. [00:47:44] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:47:45] Speaker B: You know, nobody's going to bite you. [00:47:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:47] Speaker B: Nobody. You know, everybody's like. And I get people fear, the unknown. [00:47:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:54] Speaker B: And to them homeless is an unknown. And you know, if you see somebody all curled up in a blanket, you don't know a whole lot about that person. [00:48:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:02] Speaker B: I, I get the whole fear piece of it. [00:48:04] Speaker A: Yeah. And the whole indoctrination, the societal indoctrination. [00:48:08] Speaker B: Right. [00:48:08] Speaker A: You know? Yeah. To exactly. [00:48:10] Speaker B: A point. [00:48:11] Speaker A: To a point. [00:48:13] Speaker B: Say hello, acknowledge existence. You know, it takes two seconds. You know, everybody's like, well, they might be dangerous, they might this. And most people don't realize that like the homeless population are 90% more likely to be victims of a crime than they are to be the perpetrators of the crime. [00:48:34] Speaker A: I will tell you that much right now. That is right. If not 95. Because, you know, we're considered, you know, expendable. We're considered not human. Yep. You know, we're considered less than. And I'm sorry to, you know, pop, you know, burst your bubble, but, you know, I'm a father of 27 year old twins. [00:49:02] Speaker B: Right. [00:49:03] Speaker A: You know, one of my sons is a neuroscientist, the other one's a mathematician professor. So. [00:49:09] Speaker B: Right. [00:49:09] Speaker A: You know, you can't sit there and say that I wasn't a good father. [00:49:14] Speaker B: Right. Absolutely. [00:49:16] Speaker A: I paid off my student loans before I paid theirs off. I'm gonna be paying their crap off the rest of my life. Right. Anyway, so, you know, there's just, it's mind boggling and you know, the current state of affairs, you know, within the US it's unfortunate. And I'm not knocking anybody's opinion or what they believe in to a point. You know, but you know, I mean, what if that was your daughter? What if that was your son? What if that was, you know, a member of your family? You know, would you treat them differently? [00:50:02] Speaker B: Right. Any less than human just because of the circumstances. [00:50:05] Speaker A: Yeah. Or would you still crap on their chest? [00:50:08] Speaker B: Right. You know, and that's another big thing that I push, you know, homelessness. Being homeless does not define you. [00:50:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:50:16] Speaker B: It is who you are. It is, I stress in everything. It's our peers experiencing homeless. It's a temporary state. It is not who you are. [00:50:28] Speaker A: Exactly. And that's one thing. To those who are listening, I would like to just say, you know, something encouraging is that just to realize, trust me, I've been through enough to Know that this is absolutely true. You know, nine and a half times out of 10, you know, what you worry about is not going to happen. [00:50:50] Speaker B: Yep. [00:50:51] Speaker A: You know what I mean? So keep your head up. You know, try to. Try to make. Yeah. Try to make a, you know, a positive. You know, make good decisions, as we say. Right. As best as you can. Because, you know, I know I have this one friend out there. He is like, you know, he's the guy that I really trust. He's just a solid dude. And we've been trying to get him in here and. But he's, you know, he's like, I don't think I'm ready. I don't think I'm ready, you know, because he doesn't want to get sober. [00:51:29] Speaker B: And I can. I can respect that. [00:51:30] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. You know. Know what I mean? But, you know, last time I talked to him, because Kylie's been talking to him, but I went up to him. We have our own little special handshake that we do. And, you know, I was like, hey, you know, are you thinking about coming up there? And he's like, yeah, well, he's like, actually, I've been kind of thinking about it. And I was like, yeah, that's what I thought. [00:51:50] Speaker B: That's it. You got that bug in there? That's it. [00:51:52] Speaker A: I was like, bro, I would love to have you on the floor. Like, you know, you're solid. You know what I mean? Right. And just because he has a singular drug problem that he's not entirely willing to give up. And that's also the other thing that people need to realize is that you have to want it for yourself. You can't do it right for anybody else. [00:52:15] Speaker B: It does not work. [00:52:16] Speaker A: It does not work. Trust me. I've tried it. You know, I've had ex girlfriends, and I go there, and I'm just doing it just to. [00:52:23] Speaker B: To appease them. [00:52:24] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? Just to like. Yeah, it never works, dude. It never works. You know, I've tried everything. You know, I've tried it all. I've done it all at least five times. And then, you know, I was like, maybe I shouldn't do that anymore, but. [00:52:38] Speaker B: Maybe once more just to make sure. [00:52:40] Speaker A: Just to double check, you know, so. But, you know, at the heart of it, you know, you wouldn't. We got a guy who's an amazing artist. He does phenomenal stuff with spray paint. He does some great art. You know, I'm a professional artist as well. You know, I. I've had art shows at the Pfister in Milwaukee, which is, you know, I have. I've sold my art all over the world, especially there. Was there a period of time where a lot of different tattoo shops around the US wanted to buy my art. So, yeah, you know, I mean, it's something that, you know, and that, for me, that, that, that's what really sucked, is I didn't have the space to. Painting, for me has always been an emotional release. Like a venting, like a quiet venting. [00:53:41] Speaker B: I get that. I do that with my music. [00:53:42] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. You know, a creator, an artist sort, you know, we do it for deeper reasons. You know what I mean? Unless you're using Auto Tune. [00:53:56] Speaker B: The music is my out. You know, that's when, when things are stressful, when things are overwhelming, I pick up a guitar and. And it's gone. [00:54:03] Speaker A: Yep, yep. [00:54:05] Speaker B: You get it? [00:54:05] Speaker A: Yep. For me, it's picking up a brush or picking up my tattoo gun. Right. You know, you know, as it stands right now. But, you know, my, My goal is to get my own place. You know, this is transitional housing. And, you know, everyone here realizes that. And, but again, you know, this is something that I cannot reiterate enough. It's something that the city. I know I keep saying this, but they really do need to know that the program that is going on here, we shouldn't be threatened. [00:54:43] Speaker B: Right. [00:54:44] Speaker A: At all. Because you have no idea how much stress that puts on Kyla and how much stress it puts on us. [00:54:51] Speaker B: Right. [00:54:52] Speaker A: Because we're not doing anything inappropriate. We are not doing anything that would warrant any of this. Irene. You know what I mean? [00:55:04] Speaker B: Right? [00:55:05] Speaker A: They just assume, in fact, quite the opposite. Yeah. [00:55:08] Speaker B: You're. You're taking the steps to better your life, to, to move on, to. I don't know how. I don't want to say, to evolve. Right. You know, I don't want to use the term to be. Become a productive citizen because. I'm not trying to say that you're not. [00:55:23] Speaker A: No, no, I, I know what you mean. But. Yeah. [00:55:26] Speaker B: By their standards. [00:55:27] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:55:27] Speaker B: You know, you're trying. But yet they keep thwarting that and they, you know, and, and trust me, I get it. We went through the same shit with Pay it forward, and every step that we take forward, they try to knock us back, too. [00:55:40] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:55:40] Speaker B: And it's frustrating as hell. [00:55:42] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, and you're just actually mad. Maddening. [00:55:46] Speaker B: Oh, it is. [00:55:47] Speaker A: It is. Yeah. [00:55:48] Speaker B: You know, and that's, that's partially why we're still on our break, trying to mentally recoup Trying to figure stuff out, you know, and like I mentioned before, you know, we're down, we're not out. You know, we're still here. [00:56:02] Speaker A: Yep. Oh, I will. Yes. And you know, when. Whenever this sparks back up, man, I'm gonna be your number one volunteer, bro. [00:56:13] Speaker B: Awesome. [00:56:13] Speaker A: Wherever you need a nail nailed, I'll be there. Need a rug beating outside, I'll be out there with a broom, like a babushka. Beautiful. You know? Yeah. So. And that's just one thing, is that I a. The powers that be, those who are in charge of said legislation, rules, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All that good, happy crap, legalese, you know, why would you want to make something positive fail? [00:56:52] Speaker B: Right? [00:56:54] Speaker A: Why would you threaten. And that's basically what. What they're doing is threatening. They're threatening the existence of this program. [00:57:05] Speaker B: Right. [00:57:05] Speaker A: Just like what they did with Pay It Forward. You know, I know that the. You guys were asking for the mayor to come and just see, just keep. For that whole time, never showed up. He only showed up after you guys closed. [00:57:16] Speaker B: Yeah. To an external activity. [00:57:19] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is absolute horseshit. I agree. I mean, a steamy, steamy pile of dick tips, just. [00:57:33] Speaker B: Yep. [00:57:33] Speaker A: That's disgusting. And for him to have these views, oh, I want this to be a freaking tourist town. Blah, blah, blah. Well, you know what? If you don't want it to be unsightly, don't make programs like this fail. Right. Don't stand in the way of programs like Pay It Forward that are trying. [00:57:53] Speaker B: To improve people's lives and. [00:57:55] Speaker A: Exactly. You know, you don't want to see us hanging around all day. Let Pay It Forward open up again, and people have a place to go so they're not freezing their freaking asses off out there during the winter, you know, and it's just, you know, you guys, some of these people, it's. I mean, I face this in so many cities throughout my life, you know, because I've traveled most of the US and, you know, it's just. It's just a societal thing. I mean, people are indoctrinated to think this way, right? And as opposed to seeing a problem that can be fixed, they just want the problem to go away. And I'm sorry, I mean, what are you gonna do? Do the whole, like, you know, Trump concentration camp full of homeless people? You know, that's the only way you're gonna, quote, unquote, eradicate the problem? No, that's not it. That is so not it. [00:58:52] Speaker B: And, well, one of the things at that meeting that got Me fired up was. They talked about busing people out of Sheboygan. [00:59:01] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. Like, seriously, like, is this Congress? Is this the Senate? Yeah. [00:59:09] Speaker B: I couldn't be there, dude. [00:59:12] Speaker A: I. You know. You know, and most of these people that I've met, you know, they've lived here. They lived here their whole lives. You know, they have family. They have generations. [00:59:23] Speaker B: There's ties to Shibuya. [00:59:24] Speaker A: Exactly, exactly. These people and their families, a lot of them have been, you know, pinnacles, you know, sometimes, you know, in, you know, the greater community, you know, you can't wash that away. [00:59:38] Speaker B: Right. And that's. But that's one of the things that's, unfortunately, one of the mindsets that many of the people. Many of the. Unfortunately, the city officials have. They have the mindset that if you have programs like this that are in existence, programs like Pay it Forward that are doing stuff, they have the mindset that if you have programs like that in operation, that's going to bring in more people that need those resources thinking, hey, they can help us, and they get inundated with a larger population, and they don't want that. So they try to stop these programs thinking that if they don't have them, more people aren't coming in. Not realizing that that of the 500 some intakes that we've done at Pay it Forward and everybody had their individual intake, there was never anything duplicated. [01:00:33] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [01:00:34] Speaker B: Less than like, 5% of those people were from outside of Sheborgan. [01:00:39] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. There was like, nobody. [01:00:42] Speaker B: Nobody's busing people in. Nobody's. [01:00:43] Speaker A: I know. [01:00:44] Speaker B: You know, they're not coming in from any place else. Think, hey, they can help. They can. I'm going to go there because they've got resources. [01:00:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:00:50] Speaker B: It doesn't work that way. [01:00:51] Speaker A: No, I. I know. I. I just want to let everyone know I did not come on a Colombian raft. You know. Yeah. I just, you know, I am a US Citizen, and. Yeah. And I just, you know, happen to pop back in. Right. To Wisconsin. But, yeah, you know, that's. That's beneath subhuman. It is, in my opinion, for anybody to have that, you know, oh, we don't like something. Well, let's just make it go away. What kind of are you on, bro? [01:01:26] Speaker B: Right. That's not the way this works. [01:01:27] Speaker A: You know, and it's. It's. I just want to shake in baby syndrome all these people who want to go against any of these things. I mean, if you want us. You want us to not be out there, allow us to flourish, right. Don't be up Kayla's Kyla's ass. [01:01:47] Speaker B: Give us the opportunity. [01:01:49] Speaker A: Yes. To prove you wrong and to show that these people, us, you know, we're worth it. We people want, you know, we have, you know, poor Kyla, she had so many applications, but there's only so much room that we have, you know, and, you know, and there's a lot of rules here. [01:02:09] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. [01:02:10] Speaker A: You know, and that sometimes people don't like them. [01:02:12] Speaker B: People aren't ready to follow. We ran into that not too long ago. [01:02:15] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. You know, and, and unfortunately, yeah, we've had a few people who couldn't follow. [01:02:19] Speaker B: The rules, however well intentioned. Some people are not ready to follow the rules. [01:02:24] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:02:24] Speaker B: And there has to be rules. [01:02:26] Speaker A: There has to be. Especially in a situation like this because, you know, everyone's coming from, if they've been out there for years, you know, I, I know people right now who, you know, who have been on the floor for a little bit and they still living and they still had like that homeless mindset. [01:02:44] Speaker B: Oh yeah. [01:02:45] Speaker A: You know, their rooms are like categorized like it was in their tent. [01:02:48] Speaker B: Right. [01:02:48] Speaker A: You know, and I see that, you know, most people would be like, well, that's a weird way to do. No, it's because that's how you did it in your tent. [01:02:55] Speaker B: You had to. [01:02:55] Speaker A: Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, here's this and here's that and you're. That, you know, and it's just, you know, and also, you know, there's always that fear, nobody likes that lingering in the back of your head. Fear where maybe possibly the other shoe can drop. [01:03:13] Speaker B: Right. [01:03:14] Speaker A: And that's why people don't want to let go of that possibility. And that, that actually can stifle somebody as well. [01:03:23] Speaker B: But in that defense, not that I want to, I guess defend that mindset, but when you're on the streets and you know, when you're on the streets and when you're in that survival mode and when, and when you're, when you're just trying to get through, you get kicked around so often and so many people treat every day complete garbage. It's hard not to, it's hard to trust people to think that there are genuine people out there that are trying to help, that are willing to help, to step up, to say, hey, I've got your back, man. [01:04:07] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [01:04:09] Speaker B: It takes a little while for that wall to crumble. [01:04:11] Speaker A: It really does. [01:04:12] Speaker B: You know, I saw a lot of that even that paid forward just getting to know people, getting to people to let me into Their world. [01:04:27] Speaker A: It takes some time, man. I mean, even, even for another homeless person to talk to another homeless person, like, you always have to be guarded. You always have to like, Right. Why is this person talking to me? They want to know what I have. They want to know what they can steal. [01:04:39] Speaker B: What is the motivation behind this? [01:04:41] Speaker A: Exactly. You know what I mean? Yeah. And nobody, nobody should live like that. I mean, do you know how much, you know, cortisol, your, your body pumps out? Right. You know, and all these, all these other stress hormones and that are, that can just. You know, I've met people and I'm like, you're 35. Jesus, you look like you're 60, right? You ever heard of lotion? No, I'm just kidding. You know, maybe shake it up, you know, see if someone's got some lotion because you're looking kind of leathery. Well, I told people my age and they're like, nuh, Right. You know, so. But yes, I'm very, I'm very beautiful. There's any ladies listening? I'm just kidding. [01:05:23] Speaker B: I have a face for radio. So this works. [01:05:25] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. Me. Yeah. I think most people would say that about me too. Yeah. I don't know. But yeah, I just. It saddens me. And that's not only does it sadden me, it worries me for mankind. Right. And, you know, I'm not trying to rip too hard on anybody's religious beliefs, but sadly enough, even inter organizations. Interor. You know, there's other organizations that we've tried to work with and, you know, they end up being, you know, backstabbers. They end up having an ulterior motive to our detriment. Oh, yeah. And then they want to go into the community and spread horrible, disgusting lies. [01:06:22] Speaker B: Yep. [01:06:23] Speaker A: That they hear. I don't know, they make it up in their own head or something. [01:06:28] Speaker B: Fabricated it somewhere, you know. [01:06:29] Speaker A: And you know, I think every single major problem that we've had has been because of the Christian religion. Every single, everyone's God. Oh, God spoke to me last night. It's like, if I said that, man, they'd have me back in, you know, Jesus. You know what I mean? [01:06:45] Speaker B: We'll get a room ready for you. [01:06:46] Speaker A: Yeah. You know what I mean? And it's just, it's. It's so frustrating for me because I am not a Christian. I've never been a Christian. You know, I was raised to be Catholic. Still a recovering Catholic. Recovering from a lot of things. And, you know, it's just, you know, and someone like Kyla, who You know, I've expressed this to her. I'm like, you know, what the hell is wrong with the Christians in this town? You know, you know, I walk around with my beliefs, you know, believe in yourself. You know, from clothing company. That's their main logo, you know, but they have, they use a bit of shock factor to get people to look right, you know, and some people would say, you know, I've been called a godless heathen. Oh, I'm a Satanist. Oh, I'm this. And I'm, you know, and I'm just like, you have no idea anything about me. You know, so you can stuff your, you know, pre assigned judgments, especially for someone like me. There's no one in Sheboygan that looks like me. So. Yeah, when people see you're not from around these parts. Nope, nope. [01:08:09] Speaker B: How could you tell? [01:08:10] Speaker A: I know. Yeah. Anyway. But yeah, it's. I forget what we were talking about. I apologize. No worries. My mind went in about 10 different areas. Oh, no. So, you know, and that's one thing that is, you know, I've talked to Kyle about this and some of the most catty, backstabbing, two face people are supposed to be working with each other. [01:08:40] Speaker B: Right. [01:08:41] Speaker A: But other people, these are my people and this is my resource. And it's just like, you know, know, if we were able to, you know, if we all banded together and stopped doing this petty that some people want to do and think that they're. They're more holier than thou or, you know what I mean, it's just whatever kind of rattles around in that tin can they call a brain. [01:09:05] Speaker B: Right. [01:09:05] Speaker A: You know, singular being. [01:09:08] Speaker B: We ran into a lot of that as well. And it's, it's frustrating. We're all fighting the same battles. [01:09:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:09:17] Speaker B: We're all in the same trench. Unfortunately, egos get in the way. [01:09:22] Speaker A: Egos and pride. Egos and pride. [01:09:25] Speaker B: And you summed it up, you know, when you said, you know, well, these are my resources or the, you know, the, the man. I heard that a lot, you know, not directly per se, but sometimes. Right. But a whole lot of, you know, well, we're doing that. Why, why do you need to do something like that or that? That's where we step in. And that's fighting the same freaking battle. [01:09:54] Speaker A: Exactly. You know, and that was one thing that when we did that night out the sleep out, you know, there's all these organizations there and I went to every table and I was like, why can't we all just work along together? It was like, you know, if we all banded together, we would make one super group, you know, it'd be like, was it the Gobots or whatever? You know, like every little piece made this giant robot. Why can't we just make this giant robot and be like city officials, mayor, you know? Right. We are destructive. Destructatron, you know, anyway, but that's probably a bad euphemism. But you know, in, in talking to Kyla, she reminds me very closely of one of my dearest friends who is Christian and never judged me for my beliefs, never hated me, never passed judgment, you know, and that's one thing that someone who's read the Bible three times and I've done extensive, I'm kind of a, I consider myself a religious scholar, you know, and within my own belief system I have the title of illuminator or illuminator, which means I'm a teacher. So, you know, but like with Kyla, she reminds me very much of one of my closest friends, Jamie, who was my sponsor in Milwaukee and I was sober for like three years. And you know, Kyla is, you know, she gets so upset, you know, because sometimes I'm like, what the hell is wrong with your people? [01:11:33] Speaker B: Right? [01:11:34] Speaker A: You know, and she's like, and very rightly so. She's like, I, I, that just, that's, you know, that's not walking the path. [01:11:43] Speaker B: Right. [01:11:43] Speaker A: You know, their Lord and Savior, you know, didn't say, I mean, Christ wasn't Christian, for crying out loud, you know what I mean? The word Christian came from Christ, you know what I mean? And it's just, you know, it, it saddens me too within that religion how much they have just bastardized, flip things around and you know, I swear to God, if I hear one more God spoke to me last night, I just, I'm going to throw myself out of a second story window. You know, ease up on the God thing. Ease up, bro. Okay. Because you know, sorry, that's not the end all and be all, you know. [01:12:26] Speaker B: That'S part of why we were not a religious organization or affiliated with any kind of religious organizations. [01:12:33] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And, and that's what, you know, sometimes we get flack for that because we're not a, oh, a faith based organization. No, this is for everybody. [01:12:43] Speaker B: Right? [01:12:43] Speaker A: And that's one thing Kyla understands that most of these freaking dumbass butt nuggets out there don't get is that we all come from different perspectives, we all come from different views, we all come from different education and we're all at different levels in our life. You Know what I mean? And she understands that, right? And I consider her to be a true Christian. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because, you know, she's never heard me say one bad thing, you know, about what she believes in. And I don't even know, you know, that keeps her sober, that keeps her happy. That's something, you know what I mean? Who am I to on that, right? You know what I mean? And for someone to crap on me, you know, like I said, you know, a little earlier, I've been called a godless heathen, a Satanist, you know, I'm a. You name it, you know, and it makes me crack up, it really, really does when people, you know, they think they're going to like, cut to the quick and make me just like, you know. You're missing a chromosome, aren't you? Yeah, pretty sure. So, you know, but people just don't understand that Kyla is genuine. She is the real deal holy field, okay? She, she doesn't even get paid, right, for this position. She bonds. This is voluntary. [01:14:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:14:10] Speaker A: This is her program. This is her dream. This is her vision and that. It pisses me off to no end when city officials and people such as that in these positions of power, quote unquote, have some weird skewed view of what is trying to flourish here. You want us off the streets. You want us to be, you know, positive members of this society. Well, you should be behind this program 120%. You people should be not trying, looking to shut anybody down or, you know, shit on our parade, you know, because, you know, like I said before, nobody out there knows, you know, except for maybe me. I've been here the longest and, you know, I've, you know, developed a close relationship, you know, with Kyla. You know, she's someone I can come and talk to about anything. You know what I mean? And she's so knowledgeable, she's so wise and, you know, like I said, you know, I know people say it a million times, but, you know, she's. She's a big heart. [01:15:26] Speaker B: She does. [01:15:27] Speaker A: And she gains all that from, you know, her religion. She walks the walk and talks the talk, you know, and, you know, so it's just, don't, you know, it's just. I don't want to sound like an axle. You're just a freaking douche canoe, but people really need to get off their high horse. [01:15:56] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:15:57] Speaker A: You know, because all you're doing, all you're doing is making more schism, right? [01:16:02] Speaker B: And this is an amazing program. It deserves it Deserves to be able to run what needs to be done. [01:16:07] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, and so, you know, to any group or any people that. That are out there listening as well, who are within, you know, the confines of this quote unquote business of helping us out, you know, I would really, really, really encourage, If I had my way, if I had a million dollars, I'd swing that over everybody's nose, be like, you want a chunk of this? Work together, right? Because I guarantee you, if we all work together, if all these organizations came together and worked as one, worked on each other's, you know, not only tried to lift up their organization, but try to lift up our organization, you know what I mean? We wouldn't have any homeless people. There's enough freaking resources in this. In this commonwealth, you know, to do that. But, you know, like. Like you said, ego and pride and, you know, I want to be above, you know, and it's just. No, this is supposed to be selfless work. It's supposed to be selfless. [01:17:14] Speaker B: It is. [01:17:15] Speaker A: You know what I mean? And it's gonna suck sometimes. It sucks for us every freaking day. You know what I mean? So, you know, those who are willing, you know, to put their wee wees on the chopping block and try and, like, do something just to have it, you know, slapped, you know, out of their hands, it's not only is it diabolical, it's just. It's inhumane, right? It's inhumane. And I just really want to encourage people, man, that if you were, you know, in just. Please, can we all just band together, right, you know, and make this city know that there's. We want to be formidable, not just this organization, Right. You want to encourage every. My goodness. You know, as I was saying in. Like I said, I was saying, you know, during that night out, you know, when they had, like, the. All the tables and stuff, I'm just, like, listening, you know, to people's, you know, organizations and, like, what they focus on and things. Things like that. We would be, you know, in a movable force. [01:18:21] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:18:22] Speaker A: You know, and there doesn't need to be all this, you know, dichotomy, you know, this whole, you know, you say one thing to one person's face, but you're talking on the other side of your mouth, you know? [01:18:34] Speaker B: Right. [01:18:35] Speaker A: So can. You know, I just wish everyone would stop all the childish. [01:18:40] Speaker B: Right. It's just. [01:18:41] Speaker A: It's childish. [01:18:41] Speaker B: It is. [01:18:43] Speaker A: And look at the bigger picture. [01:18:46] Speaker B: So kind of if you could say something to someone who's struggling right now, who doesn't see a way forward? What would it be? [01:19:00] Speaker A: Well, one thing, me personally, that I, you know, you have to have mantras when you're out there to keep yourself going. But one thing, you know, I'd see myself regularly is that this is temporary. Everything in life is temporary. [01:19:19] Speaker B: I used to tell my kids that whether it's the best day of your life or the worst day of your life, it's only temporary. [01:19:25] Speaker A: Exactly. And that's one thing that, you know, whatever your faith is or, you know, whatever, you know, hopefully you draw inspiration from that. But at the. At the heart of it, you know, I've been through enough, you know, bullshit and tribulations in my life, and, you know, I didn't get unbreakable tattooed on my face for shits and giggles. [01:19:52] Speaker B: Right. [01:19:53] Speaker A: You know what I mean? I weathered the storm and I bounced back, and I look good as hell doing it, and, you know, but just realize that this is temporary, you know, but the only thing you have to do that you have to put the work into it. You have to realize that this isn't right. [01:20:13] Speaker B: Right. [01:20:14] Speaker A: You know, and that. That you're worth more. [01:20:17] Speaker B: Yes. [01:20:17] Speaker A: Than what you're doing to yourself or you're allowing yourself. [01:20:21] Speaker B: Right. [01:20:22] Speaker A: To be put. You know, these situations, you allow yourself to be put under, you know, and there's help out there. [01:20:29] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. There's people that genuinely want to help. [01:20:31] Speaker A: Yeah. And even just sitting down and talking, you know, I mean, everyone knows that, you know, I am, you know, sporadically out there and not as out there as much as I used to be, because there's a lot of stuff that we're doing here, you know, trying to get, you know, things a little bit more put together. It's an old building. You know, we're trying to keep the historical part of it, but at the same time, you know, make it so that way, it's. It's inviting. But. Yeah, just. Just to know that, like, you know, I just want to say to everybody out there is just sometimes you just have to stop, you know, stop your own cycle. You know, everybody has to have that critical thinking to be able to stop and look inward. Right. And not be shameful, not be guilty. I mean, you know, those things, you know, can be important to some people in realizing that they need to stop doing some of the destructive behavior that they're doing. But that doesn't make them. That doesn't make them a terrible person. [01:21:43] Speaker B: Absolutely not. [01:21:44] Speaker A: You know what I mean? You know, like I was saying, you know, my. My buddy, that's out there. You know, he's a stand up guy, man. The guy is solid. I mean, I mean, I would trust him. And that is a big word for me to say because I really don't trust. I got like one, two, like four people in my entire, you know, and I know a lot of people who I'd say that, you know, I trust. And, you know, it's just, you know, people have to look at it. Like I said, you know, you can't, you can't look at it in a two dimensional way. Right. You know, you can't look at it as someone who suffers from, you know, bpd. You know, I've fought years and years to not look at things. Look at things so black and white. Either you're my friend or my foe. [01:22:34] Speaker B: Right. [01:22:34] Speaker A: You know, if I could get over that, trying to be a better person, you know, you know, why can't you challenge yourself? Why can't. And I'm talking about on both ends. I'm talking about city officials and I'm also talking about, you know, my people who are still out there, you know, is. It's in your hands. [01:22:53] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:22:54] Speaker A: You know, you just, you need it. You just need to know that you're worth it. [01:22:59] Speaker B: Yep. [01:23:00] Speaker A: The breath that you draw every day is just as important as the mayor. [01:23:03] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. [01:23:04] Speaker A: It's just as important as anybody else who thinks that they're better than you. Because I will tell you this much right now. I always do. I know that I'm, I know that I'm better than most people, especially in positions of city council members, because I've been, you know, I was part of the heroin and opioid task force in Milwaukee. You know, I was considered the expert, you know, but I used to have to sit there with all the mayors of all the different cities and listen to their reports and tell them what I thought needed to happen and made a lot of things happen that was very beneficial. I mean, I, I worked hard myself, you know, to eradicate or at least lessen, you know, some of these issues and some of these problems because I know exactly what it is, you know, and I'm not going to sit here and, you know, say that I am so, you know, guilty of so many, you know, things myself. You know, I never proclaim myself to be a saint or someone who's better than anybody else. And that is, is one thing that I want people to know out there on both sides. It's, you know, we're all humans, you know, why would you want, why, why Would you be okay with us freezing to death outside? How is that. Why is that justified? Why is that okay with you? You know, you don't deserve it. You don't deserve to be outside, right? So make it happen. Ask for help. City council. You know, why do you think that I should freeze to death, right? Why? Why? Why are you okay with that? You know, why are you willing to take something like Home Inc. And constantly put us under threat of closing it? You don't want us on the streets, dude. This program, I'm telling you, it's not only saving lives, it is helping to rearrange people's perceptions of themselves in a positive way. Because a lot of these people, myself included, had a really, really, really shitty opinion of themselves, you know, and the only way a lot of people. I was at that point of suicide. [01:25:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:25:29] Speaker A: You know, and it's. You know, people don't understand how hard it is. People don't. They don't get it. They just want to chalk it up as just someone, you know, nice little neat stereotype. And, you know, you can take your stereotype and roll it up real fucking tightly and shove it and take turns shoving it in each other's asses. So, you know. You know, the only thing I just want to encourage people is just keep your head up, keep fighting, and realize that you. You are. You're better. [01:26:07] Speaker B: Right? [01:26:07] Speaker A: You're better than what you allow yourself to be or what you tell yourself to be. [01:26:12] Speaker B: Alrighty, Korvid, thank you for sitting down with me and sharing your story so openly. [01:26:19] Speaker A: Thank you. [01:26:19] Speaker B: Your journey reminds us that progress isn't always fast. [01:26:23] Speaker A: No. Yeah. [01:26:24] Speaker B: But every step counts. [01:26:25] Speaker A: Yes, it does. [01:26:28] Speaker B: Having a safe place to start again makes a world of difference. [01:26:32] Speaker A: Yes, it does. [01:26:35] Speaker B: For those listening, if you want to learn more about HomeInk, transitional housing or other resources here in Sheboygan, you can check out Pay It Forward's website@sheboygan areapayetteforward.com or.org rather, or on Facebook or whatever city resources you can find. Don't write it off. Give it the opportunity. [01:26:57] Speaker A: Absolutely. [01:26:59] Speaker B: As always, keep your heart open and pay it forward. [01:27:03] Speaker A: It.