Homelessness 101: Debunking Myths and Sharing Truths

[00:00:23] Speaker A: Welcome back to Sheboygan. Stories on how's the unheard of? I'm your host, Scott labonte. Today I'm joined by someone you all know is central to this work. My wife, my partner in life and in this mission, Kathleen. [00:00:34] Speaker B: Hey, everybody. How you doing? [00:00:36] Speaker A: Today's episode is a little different. It's not just one story, it's many. It's the stuff we hear again and again on the street, in conversations on social media, the myths, and we're here to clean them up. Let's call this episode Homelessness 101. Because it's time we talk facts, not assumptions. We've worked closely with our unhoused neighbors for years, and one thing is always true. The story is never as simple as it looks from the outside. People say things like, why don't they just get a job? They're choosing that lifestyle. There's help out there. They just don't want it. But when you listen, really listen, the truth tells a very different story. So we're going to begin busting those myths. Let's talk through some of the biggest myths we hear out there and why they're just plain wrong. Would you like to start with some of the myths? [00:01:41] Speaker B: Okay, number one, we hear a lot of. Well, they're choosing to be homeless. Well, first of all, anybody who is in that situation has ended up there because of trauma. And nobody's choosing trauma. You, Everything comes down to choices, but your trauma is not a choice. It's not right at all. It comes down to after the trauma happens, what choices are in front of you and how. How to make the best decision out of typically a pile of shit options. [00:02:36] Speaker A: Right. I don't know anybody that chooses trauma. [00:02:40] Speaker B: No, absolutely nobody chooses trauma. Not a single person on this planet is going to choose trauma over something else. And I'm. I'm finding myself. I know what I want to say, and I'm finding myself at a loss at how to get it out there and be politically correct, even though I'm not a political politically correct person. [00:03:14] Speaker A: As most people know, this is real, raw and unfiltered. Tell it like it is, right? [00:03:19] Speaker B: You know, like, I mean, when you've been abused and that can be in multiple ways, we have peers who their shit choices are, stay in that situation and be abused or be outside. You know, they're in fight or flight mode. They're. At some point in that trauma, your brain shuts down. Parts of your brain do, and you are not even capable of making certain rational decisions. [00:04:12] Speaker A: Okay, let me add. Let Me add a little bit of this just before we get too far into this. For those of you that don't know, Kathleen is a certified life and health coach. She works with our peers on habit change and stuff like that. And I know we mentioned that, I think previously in the very first episode, but I just, you know, in case you hadn't caught that one. So she's speaking from an area of where she works with our peers and how she works with our peers. And I guess I just wanted to put that out there. [00:04:41] Speaker B: So your amygdala, I call it your critter brain. So if you've ever been in a conversation with me or peers, anyone, if you've ever been in a conversation with me regarding trauma and habit change, one of the things that I teach the most on with our peers, because it's completely relevant to how they are living right now, your critter brain will keep you in a completely traumatic situation or a situation that most rational people would never choose because that is its comfort zone. Being being on the street or being addicted or any of those things. Your amygdala will keep you there. I always tell people, like, when you're having an anxiety attack or a panic attack, your critter brain is what's affected. And, you know, I always coach that the simplest steps are where you need to start. Like I tell our peers, if you're in a situation where you're starting to panic because you don't know where you're going to sleep or you've been offered a place that may seem unsafe, I'm like, or you're getting ready to step outside of your comfort zone. That critter brain will go into overdrive. It will be going 1,000 miles a minute telling you, don't go there, don't go there, don't go there. All the warning signs and the best thing that you can do is speak to it. You talk to yourself. So when you see people out there talking to themselves, I'm telling them to do that. So it's okay. They need to talk to themselves and say, this is okay. I know this is not familiar. I know this can be scary, but we're going to breathe and we're going to. We're going to be okay. And that seems like a super simple thing to do. Like, there's many of you out there right now listening that are going, well, why can't you do that? Well, when you're in fight or flight mode and you're in the middle of that trauma, that is like me Telling you that you're gonna hold, change your whole life overnight. And it's. It's just. It's so far reaching. [00:07:19] Speaker A: And I want to add. I want to interject just a little bit, and I want to say, if you don't understand that concept, congratulate yourself. [00:07:27] Speaker B: Yes. Count your blessings. [00:07:29] Speaker A: You've never had to experience that. [00:07:30] Speaker B: Count your blessings. I've been there. Not in a. Not experiencing homelessness, but I've been in that trauma situation. My first marriage was abusive, like, to points that I don't even want to get into. I have PTSD from it. And for somebody to just say, I remember a counselor telling me, well, just leave. Well, it's not that easy, you know, And I used to be one of those people prior to that that would say, oh, they're so dumb. Why do they stay there? Just leave. They can do it without him. They can do it with whatever the situation is. I did not understand. So I learned that lesson the hard way. I do understand, because your amygdala keeps you there. There's so much abuse and trauma behind it. And not just physical abuse, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, financial abuse. I mean, our peers are experiencing all of these things. So when people ask me how I can be so patient with them, I'm like, well, you need to be. You need to establish healthy boundaries. You need to establish criteria, you know, expectations for them and goals. And those goals are just like the tiniest baby steps. But nobody chooses to end up in the situation that they're in to start off with. I mean, there are some who are chronically homeless. Like, some have been out there for years and years and years, and they're not even choosing it at this point. Even though I know some people view it that way. They've simply given up and are doing the best with that they can simply to stay alive every day, because their whole life is that survival mode. So when it comes right down to it, even that's not a choice, Right? It's not a conscious choice. It's a survival mechanism is all it is. [00:09:55] Speaker A: Right? All right. Another one of the myths we hear often. Why don't they just get a job? Or they don't want to work? [00:10:03] Speaker B: Sorry, have you ever tried to get a job without an address, without a consistent place to shower? And when you're lugging all of your personal belongings with you, or if you. [00:10:13] Speaker A: Don'T know where you're going to sleep or where you're going to get your. [00:10:15] Speaker B: Next meal from, I mean, if your basic human needs are not being Met. How in the hell do you go to work every day? And I give huge kudos to a ton of your peers because they do it. [00:10:27] Speaker A: And we have actually, believe it or not, several of our peers work full time. There's often, unfortunately, low wages, bad credit, past evictions, not having an ID or mailing address. As Kathleen just said, all that stuff makes it damn near impossible to get a place to live. [00:10:48] Speaker B: Yes, it does. [00:10:52] Speaker A: Myth number three, they just don't want help. Oh, God. Right. [00:10:59] Speaker B: That goes back to the trauma stuff. They are so judged and so criticized and so much in survival mode that asking for help is completely overwhelming. Trying to navigate our system. And that's why we partner with and collaborate with all of the other agencies in town that provide help. Because sometimes that means if they've made their way to us and we're finally able to say what they needed, then I can't just say, okay, well, here's a bus pass. Now go up to Lakeshore Cap or go up to the job service or here's Louise's contact information. March your butt down to Health and Human Services and talk to her. Because, you know, I might as well be asking them for the world right now. [00:12:02] Speaker A: It's not a one step process. You know, as was just mentioned, it's forms, it's appointments, it's documentations, waiting lists. It's huge, huge steps that we may not think of as a very big deal, but if you're in that trauma mode, if you're in that survival mode, that's huge. Where do you start? [00:12:22] Speaker B: Well, I mean, I'm sorry, I've seen some of those applications they have to fill out. They are a big deal. They're overwhelming to me. They are much less to somebody who's not in a rational, functioning place with their brain like a safe space. So that's why we sit down and do it with them, or point them to the person who can do it with them and make it as simplified as possible to get it done. Which, you know, is often me reaching out to other providers saying, hey, can you come to our center and do this? Hey, can you do this? We have one volunteer that once in a while, even though it totally goes against the majority of our rules, she will hand deliver somebody to an appointment so they make it there because we haven't been able to coordinate it any other way. And it is the only way to make it happen. And sorry, if you're hearing background noise, it's my son's dog, Tito's. Tito's in the middle of us being a big baby. [00:13:25] Speaker A: Right. He's about 150 pound Rottweiler, so he makes a lot of noise even when he doesn't try. Another myth we often hear is homelessness isn't a big issue here in Sheboygan. It is. You just may not see it. Although I have to say. And not a, I guess, shameless plug here. I guess could be you see it a lot more since pay it forward has been closed. Or I don't want to say closed. Temporarily misplaced. Displaced, rather. [00:13:56] Speaker B: Oh, let's be real. We're experiencing homelessness along with our peers. [00:14:01] Speaker A: There's people sleeping in cars, living in tents tucked out of view. And they found some really good hiding spots. They bounced from couch to couch as our last episode. It's not always visible, but it's always happening every day. [00:14:18] Speaker B: And people look at the. The ones who are struggling with substance use disorder, with addiction of any kind, and they're like, oh, I see the comments all over social media. It's so irritating. Oh, way to go, Shabboy. Again, it's just our friendly drunks in the parks. Well, I'm sorry. Just because the other friendly drunks have a house to go to doesn't make them any different. [00:14:44] Speaker A: Okay, hold that thought. That's our next myth. [00:14:46] Speaker B: Sorry. [00:14:46] Speaker A: All right. Gonna put in the cart before the horse. That's all right. We have some facts here that you may not be aware of. You might, and if you do, kudos. According to local counts, In July of 2024, there were 109 individuals in Sheboygan county that were identified as experiencing homelessness. This is an increase from 67 individuals in July of 23. That's just the people living on the streets. That's the people that they were able to see that they were able to physically talk to or the people that were willing to talk to them. Trust me, they have hiding spots. Most of them don't want to be seen. When they are seen, they're treated very horribly, so they kind of stay talked away. These numbers come from what's called a point in time count or the pit count. [00:15:34] Speaker B: Oh, I'm gonna throw in a little plug while we're at it. The pink pit count is coming up on the 24th, 23rd and 24th, I do believe. And they need more volunteers. [00:15:48] Speaker A: Oh, awesome. [00:15:49] Speaker B: So go to our website or Facebook page and I will share the link. If you want to volunteer to help. [00:15:55] Speaker A: With the pit count, that would be awesome. All right. Another fact is the McKinney Vento definition of homeless states that individuals who lack a federal fixed, regular and adequate nighttime residents are considered homeless. That's literally hundreds of people in Sheboygan county who experience homelessness every year. That's people sleeping on relatives couches, bouncing from place to place, staying hotel rooms, whatever it may be, they are still considered homeless. There are literally hundreds of people in Sheboygan that are homeless. Many of these families, they have children, they're working adults, they're seniors, or they may be youth aging out of foster care. They get turned to the streets. The lack of affordable housing is a leading cause of homelessness, not bad choices. As we've discussed a little bit earlier, Sheboygan is currently at a 1 to 2% vacancy rate. That means of all the housing that we have here In Sheboygan, only 1 to 2% of them are legitimately vacant. A healthy vacancy rate, where a community is thriving and doing well and homelessness may not be such a big issue is 7%. 7%. We're at 1 to 2%. That's a lack of housing availability. That's a huge cause. [00:17:17] Speaker B: Absolutely. Oh, good. Now we're at. [00:17:22] Speaker A: Alright, myth number five. And look out. [00:17:25] Speaker B: This is the one that burns my ass the most. [00:17:27] Speaker A: All homeless people are addicts or alcoholics. Substance abuse is not a universal experience among people experiencing homelessness. In fact, many are completely sober. And those who do struggle with addiction, it's often a result of of homelessness, not the cause. And Kathleen, take it away. [00:17:53] Speaker B: So studies show that only about 25 to 35% of people experiencing homelessness have substance use disorder. That means that 2/3 of the unhoused population does not meet the criteria for addiction. Many people begin using substances after becoming homeless as a way to cope with trauma, chronic stress, pain, or to stay awake and safe while sleeping outdoors. The myth ignores that addiction exists at every income level. But when you're poor and unhoused, it's more visible and less forgivable. People with homes are more likely to get treatment, hide their struggles, or avoid judgment. And homelessness doesn't cause addiction, but it makes it harder to recover. I mean, we have peers, we've experienced firsthand. Here we go. I can feel myself getting all wound up. We have experienced firsthand bringing one of our peers who struggles with addiction and they finally want help. And you literally have to catch them in that moment, because if you don't catch them in that moment, they're going to be right back outside, right back in those circumstances that is leading them to drink or use, to start off with, because they don't feel safe. [00:19:25] Speaker A: And it oftentimes takes weeks to months to get them to that point that they acknowledge or are okay with the thought of them seeking help. [00:19:36] Speaker B: God, we just had a peer that we worked with, we still work with, but it took two years, two years for this individual to say, I don't want to live like this anymore. I can't do this anymore. So we did the only thing that we knew that we could do in that moment in the time of day that it was. And off to the hospital we went. [00:20:05] Speaker A: Threw him in my truck and said, let's go, buddy. [00:20:06] Speaker B: Yeah, off to the hospital we went to which they kept him for a few hours. And mind you, I do not blame the nurses and doctors at the hospital. [00:20:18] Speaker A: It's not their fault. [00:20:19] Speaker B: I absolutely do not. It is not their choice to make. But he got to spend, I don't know, five hours there in the middle of winter at night until they're just sober enough that they don't meet anybody's insurance criteria anymore. [00:20:40] Speaker A: They're not sick enough. They're not. [00:20:43] Speaker B: So there you go. Get out. I don't care where you go, but you can't stay here. So get out. So. So insurance requires their detox levels to be at a certain level before they are medically meeting criteria to stay there for detox that I'm aware of. The closest detox right now is brown deer Rogers in brown Deer. If that is incorrect and somebody knows of something closer, please message me and let me know, because that is the only place that we get told old to go. But anyway, so he got put back outside. And so now it's like one o' clock in the morning. It's freezing outside. And where's the first place you go? Right back to the place that's going to allow you to numb that. [00:21:45] Speaker A: Or oftentimes if they're seeking, you know, if somebody's seeking someplace to go, unfortunately, the only place they have to go is the place that's going to send them directly back to that path of addiction or alcohol. [00:21:58] Speaker B: Right. Because there's no. They don't know of any safe space to go to, you know, and, I mean, we've gone back and forth multiple times, helped multiple peers, you know, collaborated with lighthouse recovery community and to get and rogers to get our peers into treatment. And even when you can get them in there, you know, when that golden ticket falls into place and they're able to go and then they get discharged, like, here's your 30 days. We're good. You have all your tools and later, have a great day. [00:22:48] Speaker A: They end up right back on the street, and before you know it, they end up right back running the same circle they were running before they went in. [00:22:55] Speaker B: Right. Because if they don't have disability or some type of income, how do you pay for sober living? [00:23:00] Speaker A: Right. [00:23:01] Speaker B: I mean, sober living is, is $600 a month. Most. That's average from what I've seen in this area. It's about $600 a month. Well, and there's wait lists. There's wait list. Where do you come up with that $600? There are places that will help, but you have to go through the application process. It's a waiting period. It's. We don't know. They don't always have that time to wait because the only place that they can go in the meantime is the place that landed them there in the first place. [00:23:41] Speaker A: And if you end up on a waiting list as much, sometimes as hard as you're trying to avoid going back to that, that waiting list, you run into old friends, you run into old habits. Before you know it, you're sucked right back in. You're right back where you started from. [00:23:58] Speaker B: Well, and if you have no support system, Right. I mean, what, what do you do? You know, we had a. We had a peer who was in recovery this winter, had done some very difficult work prior to finding their way to us, and we were able to help sustain that, trying to figure out this person's path going forward. And then we got the notice that the EBCO was being condemned and we were closed. And I have watched this individual that I'm very close to absolutely spiral since then. Yeah, absolutely spiral. We've watched it with a bunch of our peers, and it's not even the ones who, who are in active addiction. [00:24:55] Speaker A: It is heartbreaking. Oops. It is absolutely heartbreaking to watch. [00:25:01] Speaker B: Right. We. We lost that safety net. [00:25:07] Speaker A: We did. [00:25:08] Speaker B: We lost. [00:25:09] Speaker A: And we're going to get in that. [00:25:10] Speaker B: Too, the stability that we were providing. [00:25:15] Speaker A: Right. All right, so let's jump right into that. What we've seen since our day center closed back in April. When our day center closed, it wasn't just the loss of a building. It was a loss of consistency. For many of our peers, showing up each day was a lifeline, a place to charge phones, get hygiene supplies, talk with someone who cared, set goals, stay sober, and stay accountable. Since that daily structure disappeared, we've seen people start to spiral. As Kathleen had mentioned, some who were making big strides slipped backwards. Relapses, arrests, mental health crisis. People are Surviving again, not progressing. And it literally breaks our hearts. We didn't fix everything and we never claimed to, but we were part of the net that helped hold the people up. [00:26:11] Speaker B: Absolutely. We were part of the net that provided those basic needs, those, those basic everyday human needs in order to even come out of that survival mod, like a millimeter out of that survival mode for a few minutes, you know, when they didn't have to worry about where they going first thing in the morning, where are they going to go to the bathroom, where are they, where are they going to get something to eat, where they, oh, they're soaked, where are they going to get dry socks, where. You know, these are the, those are the kind of needs that we, that we were meeting and, and more on top of that. But you know, we heard from people the time, oh, stop giving him a handout. Okay jackass, you starve. And then let me be the person that comes along with the handout and see if you still consider it a handout. [00:27:19] Speaker A: I mean it's never a handout. [00:27:21] Speaker B: Sorry. It gets me really riled. Oh, absolutely riled up. You know, do you have people that take advantage? [00:27:35] Speaker A: Absolutely. Do you in the regular sector? I guess I don't, I don't know how to refer to like not unhoused people but, but do you have people outside of the in house community that take advantage of available options or available, you know, things that, that they could get 100%. Definitely. They're no different. [00:27:58] Speaker B: Well, and I kind of view the, trust me, they're not getting ahead by being able to come to our center and have a meal. It's not getting them ahead anywhere in life. It is meeting a simple basic need is all it is. It is taking one worry off of their plate. And when people are stuck in that survival mode and in trauma everyday society does not even begin to comprehend how much work it takes to come out of that. [00:28:45] Speaker A: And again, if you don't know, awesome. [00:28:49] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, to think about, I mean I've been housed. When I left my first marriage, I knew where I was going to live. I worked very hard. I had all of those things and it took me until now. It's still going on. I just talked about the PTSD from it with my therapist the other night. I mean it takes so long. I mean I had been divorced for, God, eight years when we got together. Yeah, well, separated for like eight years, divorced for six when we got together. And I mean we were together for, I don't know, probably 14 years when I finally realized that A, you were never going to argue with me, and B, even if I had a really bad day and didn't put the dishes away. Right. You weren't going to leave me or threaten to leave me or yell at. [00:30:06] Speaker A: You because they weren't put away. [00:30:07] Speaker B: Correct. And I mean, and that was. I've spent more of my life seeing a therapist than not seeing a therapist, because I feel like everybody needs good therapist. But, I mean, and I had all of this stability and the acknowledgement. [00:30:24] Speaker A: Right. [00:30:25] Speaker B: And it's. It took that long. So to expect a person who does not have that stability and does not have that support system and does not have those resources readily available, because the wait list is like 18 months to 2 years for a mental health provider. And that's if you meet certain criteria. So that's why I life coach, to try and bridge that gap in between. So they feel seen and they feel heard and feel a little supported. But gaining that trust takes forever. Some of them come in and are able, depending on how they ended up in this situation, some are able to trust very quickly because they haven't been in this situation for very long. And, you know, they're not full throttle lost in that. In that situation. But there are others that have been in it for years before we ever came along. [00:31:34] Speaker A: Right. You know, there's some that come to us freshly out on the streets that, quite honest, are terrified. They have no idea where they're going next, what's going to happen. You know, we were a huge lifeline at that point. [00:31:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:52] Speaker A: You know, in times of uncertainty, to have somebody that you can go to and say, hey, okay, this is my situation. This is. This. This is where I'm at. This is how I ended up here. What am I doing now? Where am I going? I have no idea. I mean, we've had people come in literally in tears because they don't know where they're going or what they're going to do next. You know, and sometimes those are the easier ones to break through and build that trust because you're starting right from scratch. Right from, you know, I don't want to say entry level, but essentially, yeah. [00:32:24] Speaker B: Yep. [00:32:25] Speaker A: You know, so you're building that trust with them. Right. Right off the. Right from the start because, you know, they know that you're there as a resource. They know that you're there for help, and you're going to do everything in your. In your power to help them. And we do that. You know, we do. We do chuckle and we do a little bit because, you know, we have this kind of saying amongst us. We will never work harder than our peers. And we won't, you know, if you're not willing to put that time in and effort to help make that change. Well, I'm certainly not bending over backwards to do it for you. That's the enabling part and that's the, you know, and I refuse to do that. [00:33:06] Speaker B: I tell them all, we have all the resources, but you need to take that step. I have this and you need to do this. And if they say I can't, I'm like, okay, then I can do this. Are you willing to do this? [00:33:21] Speaker A: Meet them where they are and. [00:33:23] Speaker B: And we do that till we can meet in a place that both are comfortable. Yeah, that, that we're both able to. I can't, I can't even say both. That they are able to function. [00:33:44] Speaker A: Yes. [00:33:45] Speaker B: Like, that they are able to make progress and function. And that is an extremely difficult thing to do. You know, when we started doing this work, we had, we had no experience. [00:34:03] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely not. [00:34:05] Speaker B: I mean, other than in our immediate family, which we've talked about in the past with our children. You know, we've. We've had. We had no experience. [00:34:15] Speaker A: And me temporarily. [00:34:16] Speaker B: Right. Yeah. My hubby. He was not my hubby then living in his truck. [00:34:20] Speaker A: No, no, she kicked me out. No, I'm just kidding. [00:34:22] Speaker B: Was not me. But to. We always have to make sure that we are helping, not hurting. [00:34:37] Speaker A: Right. And that can be a fine line. [00:34:40] Speaker B: That can be a very fine line. It is. It is a very fine line. There are a few peers out there that I'm sure would say, oh, we hurt because at some point the line had to be drawn that if you are not willing to do this, then we're not doing this, then it stops here because you can't do things for them. And sustainable change, that's not helping anybody. Correct. Sustainable change will not happen without progress on their part. So doing everything for them. I mean, how does it work out when you do everything for your kids? It doesn't. [00:35:19] Speaker A: Right. [00:35:20] Speaker B: So I mean, they have to be willing to do things. And I am willing to take that in like minuscule. [00:35:32] Speaker A: You have to. [00:35:33] Speaker B: Segments, minuscule steps. And sometimes it means that the progress is. I don't have to seek them out in the center. They will come and find me. [00:35:48] Speaker A: Yes. [00:35:49] Speaker B: And to ask a question. And then I don't have to seek them out and say, so where are at? You know, did you check on this? Or whatever we may be working on? They will come to me. [00:36:03] Speaker A: It's a hey, guess what? [00:36:04] Speaker B: I and update me. And that is all progress. [00:36:09] Speaker A: It is. [00:36:10] Speaker B: That is all our peers at that point, probably working way harder than I had to to even get them to that point. [00:36:24] Speaker A: All right, so we've touched a lot on the myths and trying to debunk them a little bit. People lose housing for many, many different reasons. As we'd mentioned before. Job loss, we've had health emergencies, People ended up in the hospital. And, you know, you get that snowball effect. We've talked about that before. Evictions, escaping domestic violence, mental health struggles, rental increases that prices them out. There are many, many reasons, and that's barely scratching the surface. And once you're unhoused, climbing back in housing takes more than just trying harder. So I guess what needs to change? What do you think needs to happen next? [00:37:12] Speaker B: God, the biggest thing that needs to happen is people need to stop being so damn judgy and just be a kind human being. [00:37:18] Speaker A: Right? [00:37:19] Speaker B: Be kind. Show a little compassion. I mean, everybody nowadays is so quick to pass judgment on everybody else. Everything becomes a political whatnot. I'll never discuss politics with you. Just be nice. It's that hard or it's that? It's not that hard. It's comes down to meeting basic human needs, and we all have them housed or unhoused. [00:37:54] Speaker A: Right. We just don't think about them because we luckily get to take that for granted. [00:38:00] Speaker B: Yeah, just be nice. Just because you walk by somebody and you don't understand the situation that's going on, how about if you ask if somebody. Somebody's okay, instead of saying, why are they out here like that, how about smile and say, are you okay? Can I help you with anything? I mean, Scott and I raise our special needs granddaughter, so I am not unfamiliar with people being unkind. [00:38:29] Speaker A: Oh, that's for sure. [00:38:30] Speaker B: I mean, I literally have stood in Southside Walmart when a person, a woman, told me Madeline was starting to have a meltdown. This was a few years ago, and I was just trying to get out of the store as quickly as possible and to get things paid for. And this woman went off on me about how people like me should not have children and that child should not be out in public and how ungodly she is and I shouldn't inflict her on other people. Let me tell you, I almost decked a bitch in the middle of Walmart. It was not pretty at all. I started out by clarifying. First of all, she is not my biological child. Second of all, she is a much better person than you are. And third of all, you better back that up before I deck you. And then the checkout girl got in between and made the woman, like, leave. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced in my life. It was just, people can be cruel. [00:39:34] Speaker A: And we've talked about that in previous episodes. Yeah, about, you know, heaven forbid you have to walk down the street with a backpack and stand out from everybody else. [00:39:42] Speaker B: Or a garbage bag or. [00:39:44] Speaker A: Right. Or carrying your worldly belongings in a garbage bag. You know, people are unkind. People need a place where they feel like they belong. [00:39:54] Speaker B: Yes. That was the biggest thing we heard about our center. [00:39:57] Speaker A: Right. [00:39:58] Speaker B: You know, that they had a place. [00:40:01] Speaker A: Where somebody gave a shit about them. [00:40:03] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, our peers always know. Even now, if we don't see somebody, we're asking. [00:40:08] Speaker A: Oh, asking, texting. Hey, where's so and so? [00:40:11] Speaker B: We're. I mean, we're asking to the point where we're asking other service providers. We're asking our friends on the police department. We're. We're asking. We're asking peers. I'm out driving around because we worry, you know, And I tell them all the time when they show back up, I'm like, you got to let somebody know where you are, because I've been searching everywhere for you. And nine out of ten times, I hear. I heard, I heard. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Like, don't disappear on us. [00:40:42] Speaker A: Right. And above all of that, we need to keep calling out the myths when we hear them, because these stories are about real people. Our neighbors, our community. We need to fix that. So I guess if you've gotten to this point, thank you for starters, I guess, for listening to this, because this is a little bit longer than typical session. [00:41:07] Speaker B: That's okay. They all know I like to talk. [00:41:09] Speaker A: Yeah, I do, too. [00:41:10] Speaker B: I get a little passionate. [00:41:12] Speaker A: So now that we've cleared things up, hopefully kind of some things maybe clear as mud. You know, if you've ever asked yourself, what can I do? Well, start here. Educate others. Share this episode. Cut out the harmful stereotypes and the words of Kathleen. Be kind. Support local resources like Sheboygan area, Pay it Forward, the warming center, food bank, stuff like that. Support your local resources. Community cafe. Absolutely. We're all fighting the same battle. We're all on the same side. You know, it helps treat people with dignity. My God, I can't stress that enough. [00:42:03] Speaker B: Right. Just smile and say hi. I do it to people all the time, everywhere. When I'm out and about, I just smile and say, Hi. And it always shocks me how many people look at you like you're cracked. It makes uncomfortable because a stranger just smiled and said hi, right? But out of every hundred people that I make awkwardly uncomfortable, I get that one person that I just made a difference in their day, Right? [00:42:32] Speaker A: They get that big smile, and they're like, wow, somebody knows. [00:42:34] Speaker B: Yes. Or I am constantly. Yeah, I'm constantly. Always. I actually had a lady that called me a weirdo one day when I told her I liked her shoes when she was walking by. Because I compliment people on things like that. Or I really like your hair. I. I told her, oh, I really like your shoes. Where'd you get those? And she walked by. She was so weird. I was like, I still like your shoes. I still like them. Sorry. But I'm female. I. I like when I'm out if some random person says, oh, your dress is cute. Thank you. I'm also the type that overshares and is like, you know, TJ Maxx, five bucks. But just you. You never know whose day you're gonna make. So just be kind. Think about what it means to you when somebody else is kind to you. It doesn't cost you anything, right? To just be nice. [00:43:35] Speaker A: Another thing you can do. Donate wisely. Money, socks, gift cards. These things go a long way. Be an advocate. Affordable housing is a crisis. Your voice matters. [00:43:51] Speaker B: It is a definite crisis. And it is not one that is going to be. [00:43:56] Speaker A: It's not easily resolved. [00:43:57] Speaker B: It is not easily resolved. Not at all. So, you know, we have to partner with. With all of our neighboring agencies, and there's. There's lots of conversations going on, but there is no quick fix to it. Like there. There is no quick fix to the homelessness that people are experiencing here in town. It's not like we have a. We can't make ton of empty affordable apartments. [00:44:29] Speaker A: We don't wave a magic wand and fix it all. [00:44:31] Speaker B: It doesn't matter. No. And one person can't. Well, maybe if one person could write a really big check, it would. [00:44:37] Speaker A: It'd definitely help, if nothing else. Yeah. [00:44:39] Speaker B: Because I know a ton of us that are willing to do everything else right. [00:44:45] Speaker A: Homelessness is not one story. It's hundred different roads with one thing in common. No one gets there alone. And no one gets out of it alone either. This was Homelessness 101. And honestly, we've just scratched the surface. If this episode challenged something you thought you knew, that's good. That's where the truth starts. That's where change starts. And if you Ever been part of this work? Or if you're listening with an open heart. Thank you. [00:45:17] Speaker B: Every time we see someone step up and say, you know, I want to understand. I want to learn more about what you do. I want to see what you do. Why do you do what you do? [00:45:30] Speaker A: Oh, we get that. [00:45:31] Speaker B: Yeah. But that's where we move one baby step closer at a time to a better Sheboygan. Yeah. For everyone. Yes, for absolutely everyone. [00:45:45] Speaker A: Was there anything you wanted to add before we close this up? [00:45:51] Speaker B: I want. I want people to know that we're here. I mean, whether. Whether it's our temporary hours at Salvation Army Sheboygan, which we are super grateful for, whether it's our hours there or not. I mean, call our center. Cell phone, Right. Text it. If you don't have the courage to talk, text it. Go on our website. I mean, reach out. If. If you see somebody, be kind, be kind. Have a conversation. Write down our cell phone number and give it to him. [00:46:38] Speaker A: Right. [00:46:38] Speaker B: I checked. It's 920-889-1549. [00:46:43] Speaker A: Right. Maybe we'll set that as a mini challenge. I challenge you. If you see somebody, anybody, don't have to be a homeless person. Be kind. Go out of your way to say hello, Compliment them on something. [00:47:00] Speaker B: Right. [00:47:01] Speaker A: Try it. Maybe a little bit awkward. You may feel a little weird. Try it. See what it does. [00:47:08] Speaker B: Trust me, the smile on their face is totally worth it. It will make your entire day. [00:47:13] Speaker A: Right. I have to tell you, kind of thinking about that, way off topic, but for years, I have this thing from pretty much Thanksgiving to Christmas, those little Brock's mini candy canes. I buy them every single year, and I have for 15 years. [00:47:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:31] Speaker A: @ least, maybe even longer. I buy them right after Thanksgiving because, well, you know, we need our own separate holidays. Right after Thanksgiving, I stuff my jacket pockets with these little mini candy canes. And holidays are stressful. Whether you're working retail, whether you're trying to figure out how you're affording Christmas or whatever for your family, or just it's a miserable time of year for you, for whatever reason, I carry these candy canes, and wherever I go, I'm handing out candy canes. Just a simple candy cane. My kids laugh at me because they found out a couple years ago that I still do this. And they're like, dad, I'm like, But you don't understand what that does. If you're on a checkout line in Walmart or something. Especially around the holidays, people are cruel. People are mean. They treat cashiers like garbage go up, and I hand this candy cane to the cashier or the person in front of me or the person behind me or anybody around me. Just a simple candy cane. And it's amazing what that one little candy cane does for their attitude. Huge smile, huge change in their personality at that point, because, hey, somebody acknowledged that. Somebody. It's just a simple little token, but it does wonders. Try it. Don't load your pockets with candy canes. That's my job. But be kind. Try it. You'd be amazed at the responses you get. [00:49:05] Speaker B: I'm all for. If you want to do the candy canes, too, go ahead, because Sheboygan's more than big enough. More than one person can. [00:49:11] Speaker A: Right? And maybe then I won't be the only weirdo out doing that, because I do get some weird looks, too. But that's all right. [00:49:18] Speaker B: It's all right. I get a lot of laughs out of it. [00:49:21] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like, here comes that crazy dude again. Well, thank you for joining us in this episode of Sheboygan Stories. Unhoused and Unheard of. Understanding is the first step towards change. And if we want to build a better Sheboygan, one where everyone has a place, we have to start with the truth. Catch this in every episode on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, iHeartRadio, or wherever your favorite streaming app is. Or on our website, shiboganariapayitforward.org and as always, keep your heart open and pay it forward. [00:50:02] Speaker B: Sam.