Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
Welcome back to Sheboygan Stories on house and unheard of.
Today's episode. We're gonna go back in time for a few minutes here, way back to the very beginning of this podcast. Back in episode two, I sat down with Jimmy on a sidewalk outside of the library. There's no studio, no plan, just real conversation right where he was at that moment in his life.
Since then, a lot has happened. Jimmy's been in his own place now for almost a month. And I wanted to do something that we don't always get to hear. A follow up, Not a victory lap, not a everything's perfect now story, just an honest check in. So, Jimmy, thank you for sitting down with me again.
[00:01:02] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:01:04] Speaker A: All right. So it's been a while since we last talked in this capacity.
Episode two feels like a long time ago.
Last time we were sitting outside the library looking at him. Today looks a little different.
[00:01:17] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:01:19] Speaker A: So when you think back to that day outside of the library, what stands out to you now?
[00:01:26] Speaker B: The fact that, you know, I was able just to keep grueling or, you know, keep at it and keep, keep, keep it, just keep, keep my, you know, keep going at it every day and keep the fighting. And I was able to get myself off of the street after two and a half years of being stuck on there with nowhere to go. And, you know, the had a few offers from people throughout, you know, over the last year and a half, two years, but it just, this was something I just really, really wanted to do on my own.
And I felt that, you know, a lot of what I had done, along with addiction and everything, is what helped, you know, put me here. So I, I, I didn't want any free handouts, and I knew it was going to be a process, and I wasn't aware of how long of a process, but I'm glad to say I finally got there.
[00:02:21] Speaker A: It's been quite the journey between then and now, you know, and all of that, day after day, getting up and plugging along, knowing that at some point this was going to be the end goal. This is what you were looking to do, and it happened.
So you've been in your place now for almost a month.
What has the first month actually been like?
[00:02:43] Speaker B: Blissful. It's just, it's almost too good. It seemed almost too good to be true at first.
And I was afraid I was going to wake up from a dream. You know, it was, it just, it, it's been so, so wonderful, Scott. It has.
Just waking up in my old bed with, you know, just Nobody around, an empty apartment, quite an empty apartment. Just could take the day on his as as it comes but you know, I just nowhere having to worry about where to go and where I'm gonna be that night and you know, I'm gonna be bugged and be told to leave and you know, all that and.
[00:03:24] Speaker A: And like we talked about a little bit ago, you can go walk over to the window, look outside when it was at sub zero weather and go, Yep, I don't have to go out there and I'm not going out there.
[00:03:32] Speaker B: Nope.
[00:03:33] Speaker A: You know that, that makes a big difference when you can just sit back and say, nah, not today.
[00:03:38] Speaker B: Yeah, it does.
[00:03:40] Speaker A: So I guess what surprised you the most about being in your own place.
[00:03:47] Speaker B: Just the fact that, you know, if you stick with it, it does work.
I thought it was a hopeless, you know, endless journey.
I thought it was gonna, you know, not end up panning out, you know, to the point where I didn't think I was gonna ever be able to have a place to call my own again.
So it's worth, you know, the process.
It's quite a journey. But if you stick with it and you just gotta put everything into it that you want to, you know, get out of it and it'll end up happening for you.
[00:04:20] Speaker A: Has there anything that's been harder than you expected?
[00:04:24] Speaker B: Just living day to day. I mean, you know, just getting, I mean just you know, getting your priorities in order, you know, saying hey, okay, I got to go do laundry today. And you know, it's a small things that you overlook. You know, just getting tied back into a daily routine.
[00:04:40] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely, right.
I suppose it. And you know, and, and not, I guess not sound odd. Stuff like doing dishes, cleaning up, you know, getting cooking supper.
[00:04:49] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: You know, stuff that you didn't normally think about a whole lot cuz you didn't have to.
[00:04:53] Speaker B: Right, right.
[00:04:54] Speaker A: You know, and that's all part of the routine that takes a little bit to fall back into it.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: Yep, yep. I do it all with a big old smile on my face.
[00:05:02] Speaker A: That makes me happier than you can possibly imagine.
[00:05:04] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:05:05] Speaker A: You know, like we mentioned, it's been quite the road and I'm extremely happy we were able to be a part of that.
A lot of people assume that once somebody gets in there into a place, you know, like you getting in here, everything changes overnight.
From your perspective, what has changed and maybe what hasn't?
[00:05:29] Speaker B: I, I just, I don't know, you just kind of figured that, you know, I mean you, you know, you're not going to live in an existence without any problems. But.
[00:05:41] Speaker A: Right.
[00:05:44] Speaker B: Much changes. Just it's, it's a little bit harder with the, with addiction, you know, I mean, what's keeping people out of here?
[00:05:52] Speaker A: Right. And that's a big thing, you know.
[00:05:54] Speaker B: Even going out in the world. And I run across and people are offering it and you know, and they want, I want to tell them the good news, but I don't, you know.
[00:06:02] Speaker A: Right. You know, because, because, and, and not to sell me, but you know, they're going to be beating on your door going, hey, let me, let me come hang out. And before you know it, they're, well, let me, let me crash on your floor. And that leads to problems. And then next, you know, you're back out because that's violating your lease.
Right. You know, or they bring in stuff that. That's probably not best for your well being that you've been trying to avoid, you know.
[00:06:22] Speaker B: Yeah, it's just, I mean, it's the simple thing is, you know, there's certain people I can tell and there's certain people I can't.
[00:06:27] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely.
[00:06:28] Speaker B: That's kind of the way I have to leave that.
[00:06:31] Speaker A: Right. And, and, and that's, that's first and foremost you need to look out for you.
[00:06:35] Speaker B: That's that, that's for, you know, my, my sobriety and safety is number one.
[00:06:41] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. It has to be, it has to.
[00:06:43] Speaker B: Be for too long it was put on, I put it on the back burner and I worried about everybody else.
[00:06:48] Speaker A: Right.
[00:06:49] Speaker B: And, and that's how I ended up being down now.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: Yes, absolutely. And, and we had talked about that in episode two when, you know, about how you ended up where you were because of putting everybody else first and not take making yourself a priority and, and it's time to change that.
[00:07:06] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:07:07] Speaker A: It, it definitely is.
So you're kind of in, in between space right now. You know, you're, you're not on the street, but you're still kind of figuring things out.
What does support look for you look like for you right now?
[00:07:24] Speaker B: Just making sure I don't dwell in here, you know, I mean, just, I don't lose touch with everybody that I was lucky enough to meet out there. I mean, you know, I would still love to.
I'm still looking to go to meetings and you know, I mean, just get myself kind of back out there, you know.
[00:07:42] Speaker A: Right.
[00:07:42] Speaker B: Like I said, I don't want to become a whole body, but it's not healthy and I do want to stay in the recovery community. So.
[00:07:51] Speaker A: Right.
[00:07:52] Speaker B: That's what, you know, moving forward, probably just, you know, just going to meetings and just keeping myself in the community, you know.
[00:08:01] Speaker A: Right.
You know, and, and, and we try to check in pretty often and make sure, you know, and like Jess and Mary, do they check in or stuff like that?
[00:08:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Awesome.
[00:08:13] Speaker A: Good.
We talk a lot on this podcast about systems and support from, from where you're sitting.
What actually helps?
What kind of support actually helps?
[00:08:24] Speaker B: Just having people, you know, tell you they're willing to listen. Just having a number to call somebody just being available for somebody who is either in recovery or just needs somebody there for any reason, you know, they mean making yourself available really goes a long way. It really does, you know, help.
[00:08:47] Speaker A: Helps.
[00:08:47] Speaker B: People a lot more than what you may think, you know, and just, just offering an ear, I mean, just a hour or two of your time.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: Right.
All right. So looking forward, when you think about like the next few months, what are you hoping for?
[00:09:06] Speaker B: I wanna find myself a job, you know, and start maybe part time, but I want to start down the, down that road again, you know, and get myself on a healthy.
[00:09:16] Speaker A: I think that'd be a good idea.
[00:09:17] Speaker B: Yeah. You know, just start off slow but you know, baby steps, right?
[00:09:22] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely, absolutely.
[00:09:24] Speaker B: I'm looking forward to that. Again, just being able to get out and you know, have a, at least a part time job.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: All right.
[00:09:32] Speaker B: Make you feel.
[00:09:33] Speaker A: And, and when you're ready for that, I'll help you with that.
[00:09:34] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: You know, we, we have, we still have a few connections out there, so we'll see what we can do.
What feels possible now that didn't before.
[00:09:51] Speaker B: Just everything, you know, I mean, it just, they're.
I really showed myself the last few years that anything I wanted to put my mind to, that I can accomplish it. And I never thought that highly of myself. I never had a whole lot of belief in myself.
And the fact that I was able to just take myself and pick myself up out of the ditch, be able, you know, just to get myself in my own housing with the, you know, the help of friends and everything. It just.
[00:10:32] Speaker A: Sorry I lost my train that happened. Squirrel moments is what I call them. Yeah, I do that often. Unfortunately, it comes with the age. You know, we're getting older.
So if, if somebody had listened to episode two way back when and they're listening to this one, what would you want them to understand about your journey?
[00:10:54] Speaker B: That hard work does pay off. Don't give up. You know, I was so close.
So, so, so very close.
[00:11:03] Speaker A: There was a few times Given it.
[00:11:04] Speaker B: And, you know, given up. And I thought it would be easier just to just, you know, end my life, unfortunately. And it got.
Thank God I was able to pick myself up and. Because looking back now, it was, you know, I just, it seemed so insurmountable. But, you know, daily hard work, you know, it's.
Anything you can put your mind. Anything, Anything is possible. And I just want anybody to. Anybody who's down and out or anybody who's living on the street, just, you know, just, just reach out before you end up, you know, trying to make a decision that you're gonna regret. You would regret. You know?
[00:11:48] Speaker A: Right.
And, and understand, you know. Right. And understand too. You know, there's a lot of this that it's okay to ask for, you know, hey, I need some help with this. You know, you don't need to do it by yourself. And, and, and it's impossible.
Absolutely. You know, and nobody expects you to do that by yourself.
And that's why you need that support system. That's why you need a few people that you can say, hey, you know, dude, I'm struggling here. Or, you know, like you'd mentioned, man, I thought about giving up a couple times, but you didn't. And I don't know, I look around and we're not outside the library.
Right.
[00:12:27] Speaker B: I am so happy. I am. I just, I've had a constant smile on my face.
[00:12:33] Speaker A: So have I.
You know, and then, you know, as you're ready, like we talked about too, a little bit as you're ready, you know, and you want some more furniture, whatever kind of get you more adjusted to this, you just say the word or, you know, and we'll make sure that you get that too.
[00:12:57] Speaker B: Thank you for everything.
[00:12:58] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. 100.
[00:13:00] Speaker B: You know, guys, you guys were so wonderful and still are wonderful, your family.
[00:13:08] Speaker A: You know, we said way back when, when, when we first started the pay it forward stuff, you know, once, once you're, you're in with it, you're kind of stuck with us. You can't get rid of us, you know, and I, I promise that, you know, we're here for the long haul.
[00:13:22] Speaker B: Thank you.
[00:13:23] Speaker A: You know, and, and this kind of stuff, this is why the follow ups matter, you know, especially like the purpose of this podcast and that people aren't just moments, you know, we're lives in motion. It's always changing. It's always trying to push forward. You know, what seemed like a huge, lofty goal way back then, you know, like it almost didn't seem that it was Possible.
It seemed. It seemed so far off. Well, you know, you'd been on the waiting list for what seemed like forever. Yeah. You know, and every time it seemed like you get closer, something had come up and it's like, holy, you know, now you're back further.
[00:14:01] Speaker B: And I realized it just. And it doesn't matter how many times you get knocked on it, just how many times you pull yourself back.
[00:14:08] Speaker A: That's it. You gotta just.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: You gotta grinding, you know, that's because.
[00:14:14] Speaker A: Even when it doesn't seem like it's going to work, it will eventually.
[00:14:17] Speaker B: Yes. You.
[00:14:17] Speaker A: You got to trust the process.
[00:14:19] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:14:20] Speaker A: And was there anything else you wanted to add?
[00:14:27] Speaker B: No, I think pretty much wrapped it up. I just wanted to thank everybody and just please, to anybody out there who is ever in any situation, if you ever need to ask for help, just please do, and. Oh, absolutely. You know, because it does get better.
[00:14:46] Speaker A: It does.
Oh, 100%. 100%. It definitely does.
So if you haven't listened to episode two yet, I encourage you to go back and hear where Jimmy was when we first met. Well, I can't say first met. We've known each other before that. But, you know, when we first talked. I don't want to say, I suppose when we first met, when we first sat down and talked about.
And like I mentioned earlier, the scenery's a little different here today than it was then.
We're not sitting on the sidewalk in front of the library where, you know, there's four walls and furniture and a tv, and we're not outside.
So if today's conversation made you pause, reflect, or see things a little differently, I hope you share it.
That's the purpose of the podcast. We're trying to educate. We're trying to kind of break some of that stigma and let you know that change is possible.
As always, keep your heart open and pay it forward.
